My Oprah Moment in the Mattress Store!

While engaging in the rather mundane task of selecting a new mattress recently I was confronted with a harsh reality about aging and life’s subtle milestones.

As we were looking at one of the nicer mattress options, the salesperson explained that while this mattress was quite expensive it came with an unusual 25 year warranty. Twenty Five years, really! Twenty years ago a warranty of this duration wouldn’t have even raised an eyebrow but now in our sixties it gave me pause. I realized all of a sudden that if we got this mattress (and it lasted as long as the warranty would imply) it might be our last. That at that point well into our 80’s (assuming we were blessed to even live that long), there would be no guarantees we would be able to live independently let alone be actively shopping for another mattress.

This startling reality then immediately caused me to have a type of “end of life flashback moment" you read about -  only in terms of our mattresses, of course, nothing truly important like re-living the key events in one's life.

I recalled how as we were starting our life together (at barely 20) we were delighted to get a used mattress from my husband’s parents - our first as husband and wife. It was really special even if there was a broken spring or two that would wake us in the middle of the night. Then, onto our first “new” mattress in our new home that we built ourselves in our mid 20’s. Such a feeling of pride to be able to actually afford a brand new mattress though only a double as building our home took every last dime we had saved.

That mattress (then 8 years old) moved with us to the Vineyard in the early 80’s. We couldn’t afford a new one then as we had made huge compromises in our work lives and salaries to be able to transition down here to our dream life. A few years (and two kids later) we gradually moved up to a Queen and then the luxury of a King. Wow, finally enough room to really spread out. Then, this year that mattress, like our bodies, was starting to show it's age and we decided it was time to get a new one which brings me to my startling realization in the middle of the mattress store.

While the blessing of having over 4 decades of wedded bliss with my best friend does not elude me, it for some reason struck me how fleeting life can be. How you can look across a counter at only 17 at the Assistant Bank Manager (on work study from Northeastern ) whose beautiful smile and sparkling hazel eyes capture your heart to now being in our 60’s a bit heavier(him) and wrinkled(me) making what will most likely be the last purchase of its kind in our life together. While this awakening was provocative to me at the time, the message is not meant to be sad.

It is instead meant to be a call to action to all those 20/30 somethings who numbly go thru the motions of living your lives and raising your children. To those who perhaps don’t remember to savor the small milestones you and your partner go thru in life. Don’t wait til you are picking out your last mattress together to really “get” how valuable and important every milestone is in your lifes no matter how small. That we need to try (in the midst of all the noise and busyness of our lives) to savor all the milestones/events as they pass. Things like picking out your first apartments, your first home, first family car, your first vacation together, picking out names for your first born/adopted, teaching your child to ride a bike, drive a car, attending your child's first recital/ball game and on and on.

Separately these are all simple, innocuous events but when viewed in their totality are really what make up a life. And, in many cases most of them we will only do once, however for those reoocurring events (like buying a mattress) there will be a time when you will be picking out your last one. Don’t be numb to the passage of time or these events in your life. Embrace and cherish them for one day it will feel like you blinked and they will end and when they do you don't want to look back with regret but rather with joy in the knowledge that you truly enjoyed the journey.