Honoring Two Young Lives

In a week's time, the Milford community suffered two unimaginable and horrific losses. Two young men: one poised on the brink of adulthood, newly graduated from college and seeking to make his way in the world; the other, an adolescent, about to begin his freshman year of high school. This blog isn't about the circumstances of either young man's death or who's to blame or what changes need to be made. It's about two shattered families, countless grieving friends and acquaintances, and finding a path to ensure that their lives and memories are honored. 

Grief is not something you "get over" like the flu or the chicken pox.  Grief is a constant, raw, aching lump in the throat, the burning of countless tears shed and yet to be shed hovering just beneath the surface, a physical presence inside the body that has an ebb and flow to it, but it never goes away entirely, it just over time becomes days that are not quite as awful as others and eventually the occasional good day happens. 

Stunned disbelief, overwhelming sadness, anger, resentment, and most of all a giant hole in one's life where that loved one used to reside are my experience of what it feels like to hear the news that someone whose existence is a huge part of your life is suddenly just gone. Once the wakes and the funerals are over, what then?  How do the people who loved and miss Chris and Matt continue to live without them?  How do we as a community come together to honor and respect the lives of these two young men so cruelly taken before their lives had hardly begun?

I am offering a couple of ideas, feel free to contribute your own.

I did not know or . It's my understanding that Chris was bullied and tormented by his peers. How about doing something to raise awareness of the effects of bullying? Let's make being a bully completely uncool. Start an anti-bullying campaign and enlist the help of the school administration for resources.  There are a number of web sites with information, here's just one:  http://www.stopbullying.gov/. Put together a team to walk in the Greater Milford CROP Walk for Hunger on Oct. 1 or Relay for Life next May. Hold a fundraiser and give the proceeds to a cause Chris would find meaning in. Matt's mother said he was a huge Boston sports fan. How about raising money to send underprivileged kids to a Red Sox game? Or start a scholarship in Matt's memory to benefit someone who's also interested in a career in law enforcement? 

These two young men were part of a caring community that stands ready to help and support their families. We are all feeling sad and helpless in the aftermath of these unspeakable tragedies. Let's come together and do something that Chris and Matt would be proud of.