Never to be Born Again

I simply lay there without a thought, without a worry, without life. Flat on my back I lie on the ground my head supported only by hardened sand. The ground is damp for the sun only casts shadows due to the high rock walls. At first the cool moist air felt good on my over heated body but quickly the ground sucked the warmth from my bones and cooled my soul to dangerously low temperatures. I try and fathom the age of these rocks and begin to envy their seemingly immortality. It is odd how most of us equate immortality with never changing. The hard river bed indeed has always been here but its shape, size, color and even its flow is in constant change. It is a simply truth that all the unending objects in our universe are under perpetual transformation. From here I daydream …

At all times we find ourselves in one of four states, expansion, confirmation, repudiation or stagnation. As children we are almost always in a constant state of development, we are learning and growing our mind at a very impressive rate. This rate of mind expansion is seldom ever achieved again in our life time. By our mid-20s the rate of development has leveled off. Though we are still expanding our mind and shaping our values the majority of the time we are being bombarded with experiences which are either confirming our values or reputing them. With each experience that reputes our belief in one of our core values we find yet another opportunity to expand and develop. However with each experience that confirms our beliefs we grow closer to stagnation. By the time we reach our 40s most of us will find that we have grown so stagnant that we only seek confirmation. Yes, the occasional repudiation experience will sneak in there every now and again but these experiences are becoming far and few between. As we get even older any experiences that challenges us becomes almost annoying to the point where we soon simply find ourselves ignoring facts to protect our beliefs. Once this happens we have achieved full stagnation. This is a state that few of us ever will recover from. Some of us reach this point much sooner than others. Only a very few lucky ones will embrace death with only the expectation and desire to continue to expand and develop.

When someone has an experience that moves them out of a deep state of stagnation they will throw phrases out there like “born again," “enlighten,” or “a veil has been lifted.” In all honesty I dislike all of these terms. The problem is that these people were only moved from one state of stagnation to another. “I have been enlightened with the truth” they will say. Which only means that they have adopted a new belief yet their mind is as closed to development as it was before. The truly enlightened ones are those that are moved from a deep state of stagnation to a state of constant expansion and development.

I vow to never know the truth, never to be “born again” nor to turn away a challenge to my beliefs.