This Sunday, June 19, is Father's Day. I have a lot of experience on this subject, because when it comes to fathers, I've had the good, the bad, and the ugly - and the great. I have a biological father, two former stepfathers, and a current stepfather. I think you'd agree that's more than most. The "good" is my current stepfather, Ken. He is one of the most good-natured, big-hearted men I have ever met. Whenever he and my mother come to visit, there is always some household chore or home improvement project I need done and he is not just quick but happy to oblige. The "bad" is Larry, the individual with whom I share DNA and little else. The "ugly" shall remain nameless and I will only repeat what he always said during the 13 years he spent dreaming up new ways to belittle and humiliate me - "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything." OK.
The "great" is Henry, who came into my life when I was 16. He is the man who earned, and continues to earn, although he and my mother are no longer married to each other, the title of "Dad."
What makes a dad? I'll tell you. A dad is someone who patiently teaches you how to drive a stick shift and takes you for your driving test. A dad is someone who listens to the long and complicated tales of heartbreak and disappointment about your romances and doesn't say "I told you so," when you finally ditch the loser who lived in his parents' basement and cheated on you. A dad is someone who plays a million games of Yahtzee and Parcheesi on rainy days at the lake, not because he has to, because he enjoys it. A dad is someone who rushes home from work to check on you because you had your wisdom teeth removed that day and has the grace not to laugh because you look like one of the Chipmunks. A dad co-signs loans, gives you rides to work, and is proud of you for trying even when you fail.
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It takes a whole lot more than DNA to make someone a dad. It takes love, commitment, fortitude, infinite patience, and a sense of humor. I'm not sure why Father's Day doesn't get the same press that Mother's Day does, but it should. I'm also not sure why Hallmark hasn't come out with "former stepfather" cards, but my brothers and I wish they would.
So on this Father's Day, find a way to honor all the dads in your life. They deserve it.
