'Carrots Can Be Guarded And Mistrustful': Go Ask Wally

NATICK, MA - He’s a bonafide Internet sensation, and probably the biggest bunny celebrity to hit social media. Wally the Bunny has 217,000 followers on Instagram, and he’s been featured in numerous media outlets, including People Magazine, CNN, Good Morning America and the Boston Globe.

Wally (and Molly) assists and entertain Patch readers each week with the advice column “Go Ask Wally.” Each week, we’ll field questions from readers, and pick the most interesting one, with Wally answering one question each week on Natick Patch.

QUESTION: Dear Wally, I am in desperate need of your advice. What is the proper length of time to saute sliced carrots? Sincerely, Another Carrot Lover

ANSWER: Hi, Carrot Lover! It’s ME, Wally! I regret to inform you that I don’t have the answer, for only the carrots themselves can reveal the proper length of time. But carrots can be guarded and mistrustful, so extracting the answer is difficult. The secret lies in your ability to nurture a pre-sauté relationship – that is, to treat them with compassion and dignity during your meal prep.

Like us, carrots experience great anguish when forced to bathe in freezing waters. Begin by washing your carrots in a comfortable temperature. You may gently exfoliate the carrot’s skin, but I caution against peeling! Peeling sends a message to your carrot that he or she is inherently flawed – that who the carrot is is not good enough. You must protect your carrot’s ego by embracing the whole carrot, skin and all.

After washing, your carrot will be wet and vulnerable. Drying is important and promotes a sense of safety and wellbeing. Don’t forget that your carrot’s self-esteem is impacted by your actions in the kitchen. Consider the feelings of a carrot who's been snugly wrapped in a clean, soft dishtowel versus a carrot who's been blotted with a disposable paper product. How you treat your carrot is a reflection of his or her value and will later be internalized by the carrot, shaping his or her identity.

The slicing process does not have to be scary for carrots. Fear is kindled only when carrots are abandoned on the cutting board. Line them up, arrange them, admire them, and keep them from rolling off the counter. Let them know it will be okay. If they feel protected and supported, slicing will be fun and adventurous. They might even giggle when they suddenly see their friends in pieces.

As your carrots sizzle in the pan, stay very attuned to their behavior. Trust your carrots and patiently wait for their signal. Because of the caring relationship you have fostered with them, your carrots will gladly indicate their proper sauté time. And whether your first bite is mushy, crunchy, or somewhere in between, know that your carrots are happy. Trust that they were sautéed for exactly the length of time they were meant to be sautéed. And Carrot Lover? Call me if you have leftovers.

Wally (and his mom) fields questions that range from life’s conflicts and local politics to social etiquette to general hygiene and fashion tips. If Wally thinks the question is beyond his scope of expertise, he will pass it to his administrative team.

So what say you? Have you a question for Wally? We will compile them here at Patch and feature one question and answer each week. Send your questions to charlene.arsenault@patch.com. Or post your query in the comments section.

Photo Credit: courtesy Molly Prottas