Parents of Addicted Loved Ones

This is a photo of my daughter, Melanie. She passed from an overdose on November 20th of 2017. although losing a child to the illness of addiction is horrific, the pain of watching a family member suffer is it's own torture. It is to help families cope with this illness that I chose to facilitate support meetings through an organization called PAL's, Parents of Addicted Loved Ones.

Weekly Group for Parents with a Son or Daughter Battling Addiction Offers Hope through Education and Support

A new support group is starting in our community at Saint Peter's Episcopal Church, 24 Saint Peters Street, Salem Ma.meeting every other Wednesday beginning June 26th. 2019

The United States is suffering through the worst drug epidemic in its history. The number sare heart-­‐breaking: Our federal government is estimating that6,700 Americans begin to abuse prescription drugs each day…one third of those under the age of 18. That’s 2.4 million new drug abusers each year…nearly 1%of the U.S. population. Heroin use has doubled in 5 years. Heroin deaths are up500% over the past 15 years. Drug overdose deaths now exceed car crashes in annual deaths.

Years of working as a substance abuse counselor taught Mike Speakman, the founder of PALs that overcoming addiction isn’t just about treatment for the individual. It takes support from the family as well. “A good example is a diabetes,” Speakman said. “You didn’t cause it, but if your son or daughter had it you might want to learn about it so you could help better.”

Speakman had been offering education for families in single weekend sessions. After years, however, he eventually realized the change that need to occur with drug and alcohol addiction is a long-­‐term change for the entire family. They may learn a lot over a weekend, but repetition and consistency is what will cause the change.Interestingly, although PAL’s focus is on helping the family members, it indirectly seems to help their loved one. Mike notes that what he began to see was that “When the parents got help and started making changes in how they dealt with their sons and daughters, Isawthe addicted loved ones eventually seeking help.” That’s why he began the PAL-­‐Group (Parents of Addicted Loved-­‐ones). Mike is also the author of The Four Seasons of Recovery, for Parents of Alcoholics and Addicts.

The first meeting began in July of 2006 at the Calvary Addiction Recovery Center and in 2015 PAL was handed over to a group of parent volunteers who incorporated PAL as a non-­‐profit. Since 2015 PAL has spread across the United States. Each meeting, which is designed for parents or spouses of loved ones going through an addiction, begins with a prayer, followed by introductions. The group is then presented with one of nine lessons; which include Healthy Helping and the Four Stages of Growth in Recovery. After some discussion of the lesson, the members of the group give an update about what’s going on in their lives and then the meeting ends with prayer. The group is designed for each individual to learn at their own pace. The challenge is that much of the education goes against natural parenting instincts.

Jerry Law, a certified interventionist, says it’s important for parents or spouses to find a support group like PAL so that they don’t have to feel so alone. “It’s critical,” he said. “It’s the only way to survive. You feel like, What did I do wrong? You didn’t do anything wrong. This is reality. This is life. This is the hand you’ve been dealt. If you’re going to live beating yourself up you’re never going to be healthy.”

PAL does not endorse any particular action. The group is just one way parents and spouses can educate themselves and prepare to make their own decisions. Stories abound of parents whose sons and daughters are now in recovery and credit PAL for the changes.

For more information on the organization or to find a meeting location, visit www.palgroup.org or call PAL at 480.300.4712.