Can This Marriage Be Saved?

When the state of your marriage feels more like a desert wasteland than a tropical paradise, should you throw in the towel and head for a Massachusetts divorce? Or is there something you can do to make it better?

Before you wrestle with the “should I stay or should I go” question, consider a different question.

Would it be worthwhile for the two of you to work on improving your marriage or do you both just want out?

Many experts say that you might as well try to make this marriage work. Why?

Based on an analysis of National Survey of Families and Households data, University of Chicago researchers concluded that most unhappy marriages become happier over time.

Surveyed spouses who indicated that they were unhappily married but stayed together scored much higher in marital happiness five years later.

So, odds are that if you stick around and try to work things out, you will feel happier in time.

Also, it is practically guaranteed that should you divorce and then try again, your next marriage or relationship will have problems, complications and difficult issues that need to be addressed, too. So, why not learn to deal with and resolve these now?

If you and your spouse want to stay married and improve how you relate and build a more satisfying and enjoyable union, consider marital mediation.

Marital mediators work with couples to help them develop concrete tools and plans of action that can be used to address the difficult issues they are struggling with right now and in the future.

Marital mediation can help couples end the cycle of blame that so many marriages get trapped in and begin to build a healthier, more mutually satisfying relationship.

Couples can learn how to: understand each other better, resolve conflicts and disagreements, appreciate each other’s differences, and develop more realistic expectations for what their marriage/spouse can and cannot provide.

What’s the difference between couples counseling and marital mediation? In short, both can be extremely effective though marital mediation is designed to provide relief sooner. While couples counseling can take extensive time to develop therapeutic insights into the underlying dynamics of your marriage, marital mediation takes a here and now focus and provides you with practical tools you can use right now and in the future to resolve conflict. Marital mediation helps couples learn how to find immediate solutions to the problems they are experiencing through proven negotiation techniques and new communication skills.

Improving married life most definitely takes two. Both spouses participate in marital mediation and must be willing to take responsibility for their individual contributions to the difficulties they are experiencing as well as take credit for what has been going well.

Committing to doing things differently, together in a more productive fashion just might save your marriage. Have you tried marital mediation? How did it work for you? I’d like to hear about it.