What Tools Do Divorcing Women Need?

Divorce wreaks havoc on everyone, so wouldn't it be great if one could get a divorce survival toolkit?

If one is considering a divorce, are already in the process, or even if they are recently divorced, how wonderful it would be if they could just reach in and pull out the tools they need to find your way through their divorce to a happier life.

Now it just might be possible.

The Toolkit should include a strong support system, including both skillful professionals and good friends. One will work closely with their divorce professionals; a divorce attorney and, hopefully, a divorce coach who will guide them through the process toward creating an agreement that works well and takes into account the whole family's needs. The individual and their family may also benefit from using a financial professional who can help one understand their financial picture and create options.

Divorce can be lonely, frightening and confusing.

To address emotional and social needs for connection, it's important to cultivate at least two kinds of relationships as soon as possible: close relationships with family and friends who can be available and supportive, and relationships with brand new people.

"Pushing the envelope" beyond the world the individual and their spouse inhabited, will enable the individual to search for and find a new community. One may have to acquire skills to meet new people and develop friendships.

In order to meet new people, one can: join a support group, get involved in a charity, try new activities (rock climbing, quilting, cycling, running---each of these has a club to join), take a class or join a religious organization.

To develop good relationships, one may find themselves in unknown territory, since their marriage may have provided them with a social circle. Now that the individual is alone or thinking about being alone, they may find decisions about who to trust challenging. As a good friend who teaches music class always says, "Practice makes perfect." To be smarter about choices and develop relationship confidence, one can work with professionals, including a divorce coach or a psychotherapist.

To develop resources and prepare for a better life after-divorce, two suggested web resources are: DivorceAndRenewal.com  (presenting Spa Bootcamp Weekends with divorce professionals, workshops and spa services for women) and divorcenter.org  (a Massachusetts-based volunteer organization offering emotional and legal support). Learn how to fill a divorce toolkit with the personalized tips and tactics that will help get the individual and their family moving forward to a better after-divorce life.