Swampscott Man Shares Family's Personal Struggle With Mental Illness- Tuesday

Dancing With Fireflies – One Family’s Personal Struggle

With Mental Illness. A Special Program at the JCC

Retired North Shore dentist Clem Schoenebeck thought he had put some unfinished business from his childhood behind him… that he had moved on from his life with his schizophrenic mother, especially after her death many years ago.

But when he started writing as a hobby, he realized his past was still very much on his mind – no matter how subconsciously. Schoenebeck, of Swampscott, has penned an achingly beautiful memoir of growing up with a mother tormented by voices. He is sharing the story of his own healing now, hoping that it will encourage other families coping with mental illness to ask questions and find peace.

Schoenebeck will speak about his book, Dancing with Fireflies, at the JCC of the North Shore in Marblehead on Tuesday, Feb. 4, at 7:00pm, and be joined by a panel of mental health experts. Recent shooting tragedies around the country have refocused attention on mental health issues and Schoenebeck hopes this program will add to the dialogue.

Schoenebeck’s mother, Sophie Droege, was born in Virginia in 1908, the 7th child in a family of 14 children. She started hearing voices in her teenage years, but her schizophrenia worsened when she had her first child in 1937. Clem was that first child. Later, when she washed her boys’ Sunday clothes in kerosene, thinking she heard the devil’s voice in the garments, she was admitted to a state hospital. Doctors worried she might hurt herself or her sons.

“My brothers and I became nimble dancers in the hide and seek choreography of our coexistence with my mother’s illness,” Schoenebeck said. “We became experts in the language of schizophrenia: we learned what to say, and when to say whatever my mother had to hear in order to keep peace. But we had our moments of joy and laughter when the sun sometimes scattered my mother’s shadows. Even my mother could smile when that happened.”

Schoenebeck says his writing has helped him heal his relationship with his mother – even though she died years ago.

“In writing this story, I relived my childhood. Older now and detached by time from those days, I have truly come to understand that my mother never asked for her disease. Today, I love her without qualification. Today she is with me in ways I never could have imagined.”

The program’s panel will discuss mental health issues and answer questions from the audience. It includes:

• Howard Weiner, Ph.D, clinical psychologist with a focus on children & families
• Jack Weltner, MD, Harvard-trained child and adult psychiatrist
• Ronnie Zuessman, Ph.D, family therapist

The evening will be moderated by New York Times best-selling author Phyllis Karas.

The program is open to all. A suggested $10 donation is welcome at the door. People may also pay $20 and receive a copy of Dancing with Fireflies.. For more information, click HERE or call 781-631-8330. The JCC is located at 4 Community Road, Marblehead.