Olympic Opening Ceremonies - A Running Blog

An unblemished, unedited live-as-it-happened blog of the Opening Ceremonies.

7:30 PM Opening montage. The Cliffs of Dover – saw that coming.

7:31 PM Shakespeare, Newton, Darwin….Lennon & McCartney? Plays that have lasted centuries, gravity, evolution, and “Mean Mr. Mustard.” And I love the Beatles.

7:32 PM First sport I’ve seen that should be eliminated: synchronized diving.

7:33 PM Women’s beach volleyball. Count me in.

7:34 PM Oh, four years have passed – time to care about Michael Phelps again.

7:36 PM I think Bob Costas is wearing one of Jim McKay’s ties from the 1976 Montreal games.

7:37 PM Tom Brokaw out of mothballs for the games. Have to admit, the guy looks great.

7:41 PM Great, our first political commercial. Thanks, Elizabeth Warren. On the bright side, it wasn’t for Viagra or feminine hygiene products.

7:44 PM Ryan Seacrest? Ryan Seacrest?! I’m speechless.  One of the greatest things about the Olympics used to be that I didn’t have to see Ryan Seacrest. John Tesh wasn’t available? He’s interviewing two tiny female gymnasts, and I am positive that either of them could kick his ass.

7:48 PM Our first Justin Bieber reference. This can’t get worse.

7:49 PM It just got worse – an ad for the new NBC sitcom, “The New Normal.”

7:51 PM A film by Danny Boyle. “Slumdog Millionaire” was great, but “Millions” was better.

7:52 PM My son, Conor, thought he saw my mom waving from the bank of the Thames.

7:53 PM First issue of the night – two of the number 6 countdown balloons didn’t pop. If that’s the worst glitch, we’ll be doing fine.

7:54 PM Bradley Wiggins won the Tour de France, and this is the first time 99.9% of America has heard of it.

7:55 PM The opening ceremony is being held in the Shire in Hobbiton – an homage to JRR Tolkien, I assume. If Gandalf shows up, that will make up for Justin Bieber. It would take Aragon fighting a dozen orcs to make up for Seacrest, though.

7:56 PM “Danny Boy?” Really? That’s the best they’ve got?

7:57 PM I do like all these kids singing. One of the best sounds in the world.

7:57 PM What is Lincoln doing there? How did he get to the Shire?

8:03 PM I think I just saw Frodo, and I never knew there were African-Hobbiton Hobbits.

8:04 PM Oh, I get it, it’s a Lincoln look-a-like contest.

8:04 PM Those towers rising out of the ground were awesome; just assuming Gandalf was helping out.

8:09 PM Are those fake mutton chop sideburns, or did those guys start growing them out in May? That would be dedication.

8:10 PM Who knew factory workers were such great percussionists?

8:11 PM I’m pretty sure one of those factory workers was a dude dressed like a lady. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

8:11 PM Where did Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band come from? I think we skipped about a century.

8:13 PM Oh, Sam, how I miss the Shire!

8:13 PM So far, this is approximately 1 billion times better than the Beijing Opening Ceremonies.

8:15 PM Love the floating flaming rings. Take that, China!

8:18 PM First Morgan Freeman voiceover. I wonder if James Earl Jones is angry that he took all his work?

8:21 PM James Bond in the house. We are getting close to making up for Seacrest.

8:22 PM It’s official – the Queen has a sense of humor (I mean “humour”).

8:23 PM If the Queen is really in the helicopter, then this is the greatest moment of any opening ceremony ever.

8:24 PM Unless James Bond is about to jump out of that helicopter.

8:25 PM I have a feeling they are stunt doubles.

8:25 PM The Queen and Prince Phillip (my favorite Royal).

8:27 PM First sighting of Duchess Kate. Hoping she gets involved in the beach volleyball at some point.

8:28 PM Why are those kids in pajamas? Maybe it’s going to be a late night and their parents wanted to save some time between the car and bed when they got home? We’ve done that before.

8:34 PM The good news: now we know why the kids were in PJs. The bad news: they’re all supposed to be in a hospital.

8:35 PM The Brits celebrating their health care system – just like here in the USA!

8:35 PM Doctors and nurses are definitely better dancers than the factory owners from earlier in the evening.

8:36 PM Two to a bed? No wonder they don’t have to pay as much for health care!

8:37 PM We’ve already seen James Bond; the next top figures I’d like to show up at some point: Peter Pan, Harry Potter…whoa, as I was typing this, JK Rowling started reading from Peter Pan. That was weird.

8:38 PM OK, other ones I want to show up: Jack the Ripper (not likely), the cast of “Love, Actually,” William Wallace, the “Just a flesh wound” knight from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” a dance from the guys in “The Full Monty,” and Benny Hill.

8:43 PM And the little bald guy from “Benny Hill.” And Nanny McPhee.

8:46 PM Mr. Bean! Well, he was in “Love Actually,” in a brief, yet memorable scene.

8:54 PM Sure, they call it “Table Tennis,” but I know ping pong when I see it. And it shouldn’t be in the Olympics, unless they add USA-Russia table hockey to the winter games.

9:00 PM OK, things starting to drag a bit. Trying to keep it interested with Clapton, Who, and Stones tunes.

9:01 PM Really, there’s the Beatles, and there’s everyone else.

9:02 PM I have a bad feeling a Culture Club song will make an appearance.

9:03 PM Would have paid extra to see a close-up of the Queen and Prince Phillip during “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

9:04 PM Nearly 3 hours still to go. Not sure how much I’ve got in me. Been up since 5:15.

9:08 PM A clip from “Trainspotting,” a film by…wait for it…Danny Boyle!

9:09 PM There’s no way Meredith Vieira knew anything about rapper Dizzee Rascal until the moment someone put a card in front of her. I do hear the Queen is a huge fan, though.

9:13 PM David Beckham driving the boat. Is there nothing that man can’t do? My wife just let out an enthusiastic “Oh, yes!” and didn’t even try to hold it in. I kept it to myself when they showed Kate. I get no respect.

9:18 PM More Seacrest. Hoping Harry Potter shows up for a quick petrificus totalus that would remain in effect for about two weeks.

9:24 PM The Parade of Nations. Surprised Greece can afford to send a team. Even more surprised that they appear to be led by Boston Bruin captain Zdeno Chara, who is Slovakian.

9:25 PM “Albania, Albania, you border on the Adriatic…”

9:27 PM Andorra has a 61 year-old athlete. I’ve got 19 years to get ready.

9:38 PM Next on the list of sports to be eliminated: Equestrian.

9:40 PM No fair getting me excited for the new James Bond movie then saying it doesn’t open until November.

9:41 PM Disappointingly, no really bad outfits in the Parade, yet. Fingers crossed!

9:42 PM I’m embarrassed about how little I know about some of these countries. I never would have guessed over 20 million people lived in Cameroon.

9:45 PM Sneaking suspicion that the Chinese athlete with red hair may have dyed it.

9:49 PM Welcome, athletes from the Cook Islands, the first country in the Parade I haven’t heard of. Only 11,000 people live there, so I don’t feel too badly about it.

9:50 PM Czech Republic team expecting rain throughout the games; all wearing massive blue rubber boots.

9:52 PM Djibouti, second country I never heard of.

9:53 PM I’m not sure Bilbo and Frodo are going to be very happy when the come home and see all those flags at Bag End.

9:55 PM Winner so far of the “Looking Happiest to Be Here” Award: Egypt!

9:58 PM Welcome Finland, and your aluminum foil outfits.

10:00 PM I want someone from Gabon to win a medal. Any medal.

10:00 PM Is it just a coincidence that the nation of Georgia wears the same colors as the University of Georgia?

10:01 PM Germans are dressed like they’re going to a baby shower.

10:05 PM….and we’re only up to Guyana.

10:08 PM The Independent Athletes are having the best time of all.

10:09 PM Too scared to make a joke about Iran.

10:09 PM Here come the Irish; enthusiastic reception.

10:14 PM Conor wants to watch women’s wrestling to see what that is all about.

10:15 PM The Jordanian delegation seems to be following the lead of the kids from earlier in the night and wearing pajamas.

10:16 PM A white guy carrying the Kenyan flag? What’s wrong with this picture?

10:17 PM Getting sleepy….

10:24 PM Mexico, winner of the Best Outfit award. Sure, we’re only at “M,” but I don’t see anyone matching this. They brought it.

10:31 PM Not a lot of  women in the Pakistani delegation.

10:32 PM Palau flag bearer apparently a big Thomas Jefferson fan. Really wanted to find a picture of this, but came up empty.

10:42 PM Saudi Arabia sending two female athletes; you’ve got to start somewhere.

10:42 PM In case you didn’t hear Bob Costas say it the first 12 times, he’s never seen a Parade of Nations move so quickly.

10:46 PM Spain should run in along with a bunch of bulls wreaking havoc with the parade. By the time we’re at the “S” countries, we need to do something to liven things up, and nothing says “Let’s get these games started” like the Running of the Bulls.

10:50 PM Too many countries, too many commercials.

10:56 PM Togo, that’s what I call a shirt.

11:00 PM Not sure why, but I love this Chevy ad.

11:02 PM Here comes the USA. Hats are horrible; on the bright side, can be used to play Frisbee after the games. Of course, I’ll root for Americans. Just not the men’s basketball team. I would love for them to lose.

11:05 PM Mitt Romney in the house. Will most likely be flipping the bird to the British team as they enter. Ann Romney has a horse in the Olympics, a fact which speaks volumes.

11:07 PM Yes, Zambia! The Zs!

11:15 PM Parade ends. Mercifully. Eyes getting droopy. Hoping Paul McCartney is next.

11:16 PM While I’m thinking of it, Boris Johnson, London’s Mayor, has a great book that I’m about halfway through – Johnson’s Life of London. Read it. You’ll love it.

11:18 PM Not sure why you’d have someone do a cover of a Beatle song when you have an actual living, breathing Beatle on the premises.

11:19 PM I hope Yoko Ono wasn’t allowed in the building.

11:24 PM I don’t know what the Queen’s bedtime is, but I’m pretty sure she’s up way past it. Then again, if I make it to her age and am still capable of going out for a late night, I’ll be thrilled. Actually, I’m thrilled now when I make it out for a late night.

11:26 PM Really, Queen Elizabeth, you had to read that? I don’t think it would have killed her to spend five minutes memorizing two sentences.

11:27 PM Want to see Sir Paul, but fading…so…sleepy…

11:28 PM That’s it, going to bed. Let the games begin.

Jon McGrath grew up and lives in Westborough. Follow him @JonMcGrath01581.