Local Couples Dish the Secret to a Successful Marriage

In the opinion of two local couples, marriage can be wonderful and passionate one day and turbulent and rocky the next, but when you know something or someone is worth it, you find a way to work it out.     

Claudia Orville, who has been married to her husband for 18 years, said a married couple should have unconditional love for one another to make it work. Mrs. Orville, 45, said that leaving the marriage and getting a divorce was never an option for her and it’s when someone gives himself or herself the option, that problems occur.

“I’m not talking about the passionate kind of love, I’m talking about unconditional love, like I will give my life for you love,” Mrs. Orville said.

Gloria Hockey, a Clawson resident who has been married to her husband Austin Hockey for 61 years, agreed with Mrs. Orville's take on love.

“I never contemplated not being married to him,” Mrs. Hockey, 80, said of her husband. “I always thought we have got to work it out, that’s the only option.”

Mr. Hockey said the same, stating that, “throughout the years we managed to get through a lot of trials and tribulations, the same things that other people face, but we stuck together.”

Key to success

For the Hockey’s, the key to a successful marriage is having trust, honesty and space in the relationship.

“I think it’s most important to trust each other, be honest and give each other space,” Mrs. Hockey said. “If you’re honest and trusting of one another, then the space comes easy.”

Mrs. Hockey enjoys participating in and lunch at the , or traveling up North for weekends with her daughters. Mr. Hockey, 79, likes to spend his time golfing or at a gentlemen's club in Ferndale. However, Mrs. Hockey said the time apart is what makes their marriage a healthy one. If they were to spend all of their time together, she said, they might not appreciate the time they do get with one another.

“We kind of coexist,” Mrs. Hockey said. “I do my thing, he does his separate thing, and we don’t stand in each other’s way.”

For the Orvilles, who still have two teenagers at home, family time is important, as is always being there for the other person. Mrs. Orville said that for a long while, they were all each other had.

The couple met in Mexico, where Mrs. Orville lived until she was married. Mr. Orville had been on a missionary trip to Mexico, and Mrs. Orville was his translator. Mrs. Orville enjoys living in Michigan, but having family so far away in Mexico was trying on their relationship because they had no one else to turn to for support. Mr. Orville's family lives in Ohio as well, so both sides were unable to help with raising the kids, which was a challenge but something the couple overcame.

Looking back

Although Mrs. Orville said they were marrying two different cultures, marriage has the same values no matter the origin. She said that even though they both were so different and lived in separate worlds, she knew after the second time they met that he was the one. They got married seven months after meeting each other in Mexico, and after only spending three short visits together.

“There was something really special about her,” Mr. Orville, 50, said.

The Hockey’s saw something special in one another back in high school. They were married in 1949, and soon had a house full of six children. Mrs. Hockey recalled her 18th birthday, and still wears that present on her right finger. Mr. Hockey had asked her what she wanted for her birthday, and she hinted at an engagement ring, but said a teddy bear would do the job. What she ended up pulling out of the box on her birthday was, to her dismay, the teddy bear, until she noticed the glistening object hooked to a ribbon tied around the bear’s neck: her engagement ring.

Likewise, Mr. Orville reminisced of his proposal, taking Mrs. Orville to a park near his hometown in Ohio on their way back to Detroit, where he lived at the time. Mrs. Orville was clueless and wasn’t pleased they were stopping only a half hour into their long drive. Mr. Orville said his heart was pounding and he was debating in his head whether he was ready for marriage, although the ring was already in his pocket. After deciding yes, he took her into the park and dropped to one knee.

“I remember he asked me, ‘do you think you can live with me for the rest of your life?” Mrs. Orville said.

And the answer at the time was yes, and still is yes. Both the Hockeys and the Orvilles have had trouble in their relationships, many stemming from family issues, but both couples have lived through the problems and plan to keep going strong.

“There is a lot of bridge building that goes on,” Mr. Orville said. “It’s constant building and repairing.”

As Mrs. Orville said, the unconditional love and commitment is what it takes.

“If you’re not committed then the worries of life and the busyness — they can separate you,” Mrs. Orville said.