Yes, I Was Not There!

Bill Kalmar confesses: “I always state that I am the one next to Lincoln on Mount Rushmore. That was a fabrication.” (Patch photo illustration/Mount Rushmore licensed by Creative Commons)

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By Bill Kalmar

Much has been written lately about reporters and celebrities who claim they were part of a historical moment and then we learn that it was a fabrication.

I’m reminded of the Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News assertion that he was fired upon while in a helicopter. Then there was the case of a magazine claiming that FOX News reporter Bill O’Reilly was not under fire during the Falklands invasion. This evidently has proven to be a false story on the part of the magazine and O’Reilly was vindicated.

Several years ago a local Detroit sports reporter wrote a column about a game he never attended and he was suspended for a week.

And then. just the other day, Robert McDonald, the head of the Veterans’ Administration claimed that he was involved with Special Forces during the war and he later had to retract that statement because it was not true.

“ ...I always state that I am the one next to Lincoln on Mount Rushmore. That was a fabrication.“

What makes these people embellish their careers remains a mystery. Do they feel inadequate for some reason or do they want to distinguish themselves among their peers?

In any event, what with the Internet and other historical resources, someone providing false information about their resume or career accomplishments will quickly be exposed.

Also from Bill Kalmar:

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For that reason, I want to come clean on a number of incidents before someone calls me on them.

As a regular contributor to several local and national publications I always try to be factual in my writings.

In that regard, I want to now take this opportunity to clarify some personal information that you may have heard of and have either doubted or taken for face value.

First of all I was not involved in any aspect of The Alamo in 1836. Yes, I have visited this historical site but was not involved in any action.

Similarly, I am not one of the carvings on Mount Rushmore. Often when people suggest that they might have seen me somewhere I always state that I am the one next to Lincoln on Mount Rushmore. That was a fabrication.

Furthermore, even though there is a city in Sweden named Kalmar, I am not the mayor and have never lived there.

In addition, I have no connection with Chevrolet Kalmar Motors in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania and I have never set sail on the Kalmar Nyckel which is a Dutch built armed merchant ship famed for carrying Swedish settlers to North America in 1638 to establish the colony.

Comedian Jon Lovitz who was a regular some time ago on Saturday Night Live portrayed a character called The Pathological Liar. He would tell outrageous whoppers in an effort to make himself seem important such as his claim that he invented Rock and Roll.

At the end of such an assertion he would then say: “Yeahhh, that’s the ticket!”

Well, time to leave on my next adventure. I am excited and pleased to discover that I have just been chosen to live the next year in Biosphere 2. Yeahhh, that’s the ticket!

(Bill Kalmar of Lake Orion is a semi-retired after having worked for a Fortune 500 bank and as director Michigan Quality Council. A freelance writer, his work appears in several publications. He is a member of the USA Today Vacation Panel.)