Mother and Daughter: A Cinderella Story

With Mother’s Day almost upon us, it makes me reflect back on my relationship with my daughter. I think it’s fair to say that most young girls daydream of the perfect fairytale wedding, marrying their prince charming and living in Cinderella’s castle. In the midst of their fantasy, I find it hard to believe they envision living apart from their family with their prince charming gone for months on end. It was that exact scenario that changed my childhood dreams into a far richer reality.

Shortly after my daughter was born, we were living miles away from family and my prince charming was off providing for our castle. I was isolated in an unfamiliar community, and my days were spent with the only individual I knew, my one year old daughter. Needless to say, the majority of my adult conversations came from a big yellow bird, a purple (okay I’m not really sure what to call him), and an adventurous couple named Shaggy and Scooby. Thankfully, during her nap time, I welcomed a little more thought-provoking conversation from Oprah or the local weatherman.

Apparently, spending seven days a week with a one year old glued to your hip at the grocery store, the shopping mall, and the hair salon, can lead to her believing she is an adult by the mature age of three!!! Well, except when she found a spider. She was not very brave under those circumstances (and let’s be honest, neither was mom, but I could never let her see me sweat)! I found being a protector can be the best cure for certain, shall we say, irrational moments of perception. After all, spiders do look a lot bigger in the heat of the moment.

We eventually moved back to the state of Michigan where the majority of residents form a strong allegiance to either “the green and white”, or “the maize and blue” college sports team. Even though I do not hold an exclusive allegiance to either team, my daughter’s heart belongs to the Spartans. The age of 18 is when most young adults cringe at the thought of being seen with their parent, let alone in a crowded sports arena. On this particular day, both teams came together for the anticipated rival match. Picture the entire arena, including myself, dressed in the bright colors of maize and blue, and your eye catches a lonely arena seat filled with the rival colors of green and white. My daughter sat there proudly, enduring the jabs and sneers of surrounding fans, all for the pleasure of spending the day with her mom. A priceless moment.

After spending over two decades being her protector, her counselor, the dictator, the healer-of-wounds, her shopping buddy and her biggest fan; I could see my daughter liked me. She really likes me. How do you create a special relationship with your daughter while working, taking care of the home, being a chauffer to sporting events, and so much more? Do you act like a parent, or her friend? First, and foremost, you should be her parent. As a child, she will need guidance, structure, discipline, and a mentor. And if you know where to purchase a good guidance manual for the teenage years, you might want to have one of those non-existent books on hand! I am very blessed to say that by being a parent first and spending quality time together while guiding her into adulthood; I gained a friendship that reaches far beyond my childhood dreams.