Death of a Pet Can Be Devastating for Children

Losing a pet is never easy but watching your child lose a pet may be even harder.

For most children, it is the first experience they have with death and it can be tricky to navigate.

My children recently lost their pet rabbit. Lavender was a huge, adorable grey bunny that we brought home from the Humane Society as a gift to my eldest daughter three years ago. Weighing in at almost 13 pounds initially, she made a funny companion to Lily (who died suddenly this fall). Lily was a third of her size and we used to jokingly call the pair “The Moose and The Mouse.”

Rabbits tend to hide their illness as a defense in the wild and though Lavender had been looking less than her usual hefty self, she had been hopping around and eating until a few days ago. When my daughter brought her in I actually gasped. Her body was skeletal, her eyes sunken and runny. Since it was a Sunday, all we could do was nurture her as best we could. The kids fed her lots of veggies (which she ate and that gave us all hope) and water through a syringe. They made a bed for themselves next to her so they could be with her through the night. They pet her and sang to her. They loved her.

When we brought her to the vet the next day, we discovered she'd lost almost half of her weight and that she was experiencing kidney failure. My oldest, now 11, made the difficult decision to put her to sleep so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore.

“This isn't my bunny,” she explained. “She's not doing the things that made her Lavender.”

I was amazed at her strength and grace and I was so touched at the way the vets at Briarwood Veterinary Clinic handled the situation. The children were each given a poem, a plaster cast with Lavender's pawprints and hugs. Those little acknowledgements made a tough situation a little more bearable. Though the kids couldn't bring their bunny home, they were able to bring something back with them. And this time around, they were able to really say goodbye.

We've been talking about how death is part of life's cycle, how life dies and nourishes the earth to help grow new life. We will have a ceremony to spread Lavender's ashes when we get them. For now, we are retelling funny stories about her, looking at pictures and wondering what form she'll take when she comes back.

They want to remember her as the big, fat, healthy rabbit who loved to eat and chase the dog and not the emaciated creature we took to the vet. As their mom, the best thing I can do is help them do that. But grieving is a long process and they will inevitably have moments where they realize she's gone and will be sad all over again and I will be there to hug them and validate those feelings and honor Lavender's memory along with them.

She was not “just” an animal, she was a family member. And she will be sorely missed.