Shhhhh! It's a Secret!

A family’s finances are a private matter, right? Be honest. If you’re like most people, you grew up in a home where talking about the family financial situation was either non-existent or infrequent and certainly almost always uncomfortable if it did happen.

I grew up in a family like this. But, thank goodness, as my sisters and I became adults, my Mom and Dad recognized the importance of sharing some information.  In a moment I’ll share why I became so grateful for our parents shift in thinking several years ago.

But first, what am I talking about? And why do I believe it is so darn important? Certainly, I can’t mean sharing bank account balances or investment decisions with each other, right? You can imagine what type of grief THAT could cause!!! 

I’m talking about sharing basic information--name and phone of family attorney/financial advisor(s)/CPA, name of financial institutions where assets are held, investment accounts, insurance policies, location of safe deposit box(es), bonds, location of will or trust and any power of attorney paperwork (including medical power of attorney), location of tax forms, and other similar information. 
That’s it – there is no need to share bank account balances, insurance payouts, or even account numbers. This information should be given to at least one family member and should be updated annually.

Why is this important? Well, in my case, it became important when my Dad passed away unexpectedly several years ago. We were grieving and yet, life goes on. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if my parents had kept this information from us. In addition to dealing with a family death, we would have needed to exert countless hours of energy locating this information. With three young children at home and out-of-state siblings who weren’t available for an extended time, it would have been an added burden to our family. Plus, in our situation, my Dad passed away just days before “tax day”. The government isn’t exactly sympathetic to personal situations, but luckily, we knew right where to look for tax forms and (luckily), my Dad had already filed (THANKS, Dad!). 

Just imagine yourself in the same situation. And ask yourself which is more important – keeping the information from family or giving your family consideration and forethought so that their lives might be a little easier when tragedy strikes.

OK, so maybe your family situation is such that you really can’t or shouldn’t share the information with them. My suggestion is that you give the information to a trusted person – your attorney, maybe. And then share only your attorney’s name and phone number with your family. This way, you feel protected and yet, if something happens to you, there will still be a good starting point.

Gosh--I feel so strongly about this. And yet, I know how difficult it can be to
have the conversation with family, especially if you are the one trying to convince another family member of the importance of sharing this information.  My only advice is to keep trying. Share this blog--or one of the many articles written on the topic recently.  But keep trying. It’s that important.