I Apologize or Do I?

I Apologize Or Do I?

Seems in our society we hear the words “I apologize” several times a week in the media.  The two word uttering is usually followed with:  “Those remarks are not illustrative of who I am and thus I am sorry if I offended anyone”.  After hearing those words our society has a tendency to grant forgiveness and then move on to the next offensive incident. And of course, no matter what one utters these days there is always a group that feels offended or disrespected. Keep in mind too that prior to someone offering an apology, we vilify the person while we await a “mea culpa”. 

Apologies are uttered by politicians, sports players, celebrities, and a whole host of ordinary people.  As the public awaits the eventual apology from people who have somehow offended our senses, we sometimes mount a campaign to have sponsorships removed from athletes or we vow not to vote for a particular person or we stage a boycott of a store or product.  Then once an apology is offered we welcome the offender or company back into our life.  Here is what disturbs me about this whole sordid practice.

First of all when someone makes a comment that is offensive to society, or to a group, that comment generally reflects the thought process and the inner most feelings of the person.  People make statements that are part of their upbringing or belief system.  In their own minds, they see nothing wrong with their comments and it demonstrates an articulation of their thought process which they no doubt have shared with close friends most of their lives.  It’s when the media picks up on the comments that people start to backtrack because it may mean a loss of a job or a sponsorship.  Someone intervenes and perhaps even writes an apology for the person to be released to the media.  But has this changed the opinion or the utterings of the person – I think not!  It merely means this person will be a lot more careful about verbalizing his or her thoughts but the original offensive comments are probably still a part of this person’s DNA and likely will not be altered.

So if you doubt what I am presenting, here is an outline for apologies that I think illustrates what I have been saying:  1.  Athlete or politician makes offensive comment about a particular group.  2.  The public is outraged and demands an apology.  3.  Offender offers apology.  4. All is forgiven and we move on.

Most of the apologies are just media gimmicks and the contrite words ring hollow.  Keep in mind that there are companies that specialize in preparing apologies for corporate heads, politicians and media types.  Also, I am certainly not categorizing all apologies as theatrical events because there are some that are genuine and heartfelt.  But you be the judge if the apologies from Don Imus, Chris Brown, Mel Gibson, John Mayer, David Letterman, President Clinton, Jim Carrey, Jesse Jackson, and Tracy Morgan were heartfelt and genuine or just some attempt made out of expediency to rescue a career?   Just wondering.  All of them made comments that were offensive – some of them more than once!

In the meantime, I apologize for writing this column.  You will have to determine if I really mean it!

Bill Kalmar