Who will make medical decisions for you when you can’t?

I like my doctor.  I’ve been going to her since she started her practice almost 20 years ago and I have always thought she liked me.

But last time I went to see her she handed me a document called Five Wishes.

Instinctively, I wouldn’t take it from her at first. “Oh, no,” I said.  “I’m not ready for this. I’m not that sick.”

But she’s a good doctor and knows me well enough to persevere.

“No. You’re doing well, but you should make these decisions when you ARE well,” she stressed, not taking her eyes off me.

I could tell she had done this before and took the document, stashed it in a desk drawer and took it out last week.

Five Wishes is a document that spells out what medical treatment you want when you cannot speak for yourself.

So you figure, my husband, or wife or oldest child will make those decisions for me.  Oh yeah? And what if they can’t, or won’t or just don’t know what you would want them to do?  What if he/she/they have been in an accident with you and cannot speak? Who will make sure you get the medical attention you want?

Who will decide if you are resuscitated when your heart stops? Who will determine if you have a food tube surgically inserted into your stomach when you are no longer able to eat or drink?  

Years ago a friend of mine told me about her family being in just that situation.  Her father was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease and could no longer ingest anything. When the medical staff asked if they should insert a feeding tube into his stomach a heated family argument ensued.  She was sure her father would not have wanted the procedure done.  Her mother was sure it was the right thing to do.  Both were guessing, they had never had that “what if?” discussion with him. 

End of life deserves some dignity and you deserve to have things done the way you want. Five Wishes is a document we all need to consider and complete – particularly when we are in good health and doing well.

Look for my next blog that will discuss specifics about  advance directive documents.