A letter to all Coaches and Teachers out there

Coaches and Teachers,
First I want to thank you for taking the time to work with not only my children, but children everywhere.  Your choice to work with kids is a noble one, and it takes a special person to want to spend their life doing so.

Teachers,
     You have one of the hardest jobs out there.  Yeah, yeah, you have all summer off, but what you have to deal with Sept-June can make you want to pull your hair out at times.  I am not talking about the kids necessarily.... sometimes the parents can be just as frustrating to you as their darling little child :)  You went into teaching to make a difference and sometimes it's hard for you to do your job because of budgets, buildings and parents.  So thank you for doing what you can despite the roadblocks.
     Knowing that you are under a lot of stress at times, I would like to ask you to remember that these are just children you are working with.  They aren't mini adults, so be patient and help them out from time to time.  Not all kids are made the same, some need more compassion and others discipline.  It would be helpful if you could just let the parents know if you need help with either situation.  WE want our kids to be successful and most of us are willing to spend extra time to ensure that their education runs smoothly.  My child may not be your favorite (or maybe he/she is) but I ask that you please remember how vulnerable each of them are.  They want to please you... they look up to you... So guide them and help them succeed.


Coaches,
     Your time is mostly volunteered and to that I say "God bless you!!" 
I have been a coach and I know what it entails....patience, compassion, strength and knowledge.  But most of all you MUST know how to INSPIRE!!  If you are not capable of doing so, please find something else to do that doesn't involve young children (like perhaps work in the jail system?? LOL).

It is NOT ok to tell your young players that they are an embarrassment to you.  I mean what the hell is wrong with you?  Would you like it if during the game I just stood up in front of everyone and told you what a disappointment you are to me???  I can be an ass too ya know!!  It's also NOT ok to degrade a child in front of others.  I thought as an adult you would know better...guess not.

These children look up to their coaches... they want to be guided, trained and will receive constructive criticism well if you do it right.   And by right I mean, showing them what did happen and what you would like to see happen going forward.   By right I mean, NOT yelling at them and actually acting like a leader when you speak to the players.   These aren't college athletes or professionals who get paid to play.  They are children, who need to be encouraged and supported.   

Now if for a moment you think I am one of those mothers who doesn't think her "baby does anything wrong" you are mistaken.  I am not a fluffy mommy who tries to protect her kids from negativity.   My children aren't perfect and I am all for pushing them to do their best.  Heck I don't even mind spirited, passion filled coaching .... it works!  I don't believe everyone should win or everyone should get a medal either....losing is part of the game and can teach more to a child than winning.  BUT there are limits and lines that shouldn't be crossed.

I have recently experience this line crossing and it sickens my heart.  It has made me angry, sad and disgusted.  Part of me wants to approach the coach directly, but I don't want my child to be punished by the coach (this is known to happen).  Another part of me wants to go to the "man in charge" and let them know what is going on.  But will this really make a difference?  Do they even care?  This coach has been this way for years and others have complained before me... and nothing was done.

A 3rd part of me (yes I have 3 parts!) tells me to stop and let my child experience what a bad coach is.  I can just continue to encourage my child from behind the scenes.  Use this as a learning experience and hope that this idiot coach hasn't completely taken the love of the sport out of my child's heart.  My husband would prefer I listen to my 3rd part as I am sure many men would agree with.  I get it, I really do, but what do I tell my heart when it sees my child being broken down?  Ugh, it's killing me.

So to all of those folks out there who have our children in their presence remember:

• Be kind
• Have empathy
• Show compassion
• Inspire instead of abusing
• Lead through the love of what you are doing.... and if you don't love it anymore, move on
• Don't be afraid to ask for parental assistance.  We may be able to shed some light on what makes our kids tick