Life Lessons Learned by a Coach

When I signed up my son Dylan to play Royal Oak youth soccer in 1999, I was told there were not enough coaches. If no one stepped forward, there would be no team for my kindergartner to play on.

I volunteered to coach.

I suppose I am a sucker when it comes to my children, but I thought, “How difficult can this be?” I found out when they gave me a 3-inch binder with the rules and some ideas on how to run practices. I remember crying myself to sleep after the first coaches meeting. What did I get myself into? 

Sometimes, just looking the part will fool some people. I bought a shirt that said “Coach” (so there could be no confusion), a clipboard and some sunglasses to hide my tears.

I called Phil LaCroix, the father of one of my players, and asked him if he could help me. We ran our first practice on the playground of Dylan’s elementary school, the former Longfellow school. Phil was a godsend. He actually knew how to play soccer — and coach — and the children seemed to be having a great time. I wasn’t sure if they were learning anything, but they sure looked happy.

At the end of the practice, I stated my only goal. I wanted the children to have fun. As the other parents walked away, one father approached me. He said something like, “It’s OK for the kids to have fun, but if my son isn’t going to learn anything, I’m not going to bring him to practice.”

It was a good thing I had my sunglasses on.

That father was Barry Cowan of Royal Oak. As the season progressed, I learned that he wasn’t such a tough guy, he just had high standards, and he believed in the kids. He believed in their abilities, and furthermore, if I asked him to do anything — anything at all — he had my back.

Barry's son Tim was one of our star players, but he also had an 8-year-old son, Philip, who came to all our games and practices. Philip was also a star athlete — in the Special Olympics.

A dozen years have gone by. I recently met up with Barry, Philip (who is now 20) and members of the in the Royal Oak High School auxiliary gym. They were practicing for the Special Olympics basketball state finals in Rockford this weekend.

I watched the Hot Shots for more than an hour as they ran through vigorous drills in preparation for their big tournament. Barry was doing a lot of yelling, and the children were responding. I sensed that they believed in their coach, and more importantly, in themselves.

Barry told me, “Sometimes they think I’m mad at them because I yell so much. But I do it for love. At the end of practice, we all hug.”

I talked to several of the players, and they are all pumped and ready for the finals. Parents are equally excited and proud. Colleen Kucharski of Royal Oak told me the team has been practicing every week since November. “They practice for an hour and a half. They work really hard,” she said.

I felt electricity in the gym that rivaled any stadium in the country hosting a NCAA basketball game. When I came home, I asked my husband, “Do we have anything going on March 26? I want to go to Rockford!”

By the way, it's never too late to say thanks. I am so grateful to Barry for sticking up for my U6 soccer team all those years ago. He helped me understand that my team deserved more than to just have fun.

It doesn’t matter if you are a scrawny 6-year-old child or have a disability of some sort, we are all capable of greatness. It’s a coach’s job to inspire his or her players to be the best they can be.

Good luck, Hot Shots!

The Special Olympics state basketball finals take place Saturday and Sunday in Rockford. For more information, visit the Michigan Special Olympics website.