Thrillist Has Fighting Words About the 'Burbs

If you say you’re from Detroit, there’s a good chance you mean the suburbs, says Thrillist. (Photo by Sam Beebe, Ecotrust, via Creative Commons)

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Ouch.

Thrillist, which compiles endless lists of the food, drink and other entertainment options, did what it does and took some digs at Detroit suburbs in “Does Your Detroit Suburb Suck? An Investigation.”

Readers had quite a bit to say about the list, including one person who said it was “not nice.” Someone else said it didn’t go far enough in defining the “underpants of Detroit.” And some other person stood up for Wyandotte, which “doesn’t stink anymore” and is “home to the nicest people and reasonably priced homes.”

And then there was this: “Seems like nothing more than a Mean Girls Burn Book.”

Here are some of the high – or low, depending upon your perspective – points:

Tell Us:

• Defend your ‘burb. Tell us why Thrillist got it wrong or, if you agree, right.

Ferndale: Living in Ferndale is the only acceptable alternative to Midtown lofts, but be prepared for lots of backyard chicken and “get off my organically fertilized lawn-slash-urban garden” types.

Farmington-Farmington Hills: “Absolute nothingness?” Oh, that’s harsh.

Royal Oak: “Bro-tastic,” Thrillist says. “Is there some sort of dude-bro signal that went out that, much like a dog whistle, only dude-bros could sense?”

Berkley: Ferndale, but without the commercial corridor.

Huntington Woods: Almost entirely residential, but only walkable to the Detroit Zoo – and then only for people who love to walk.

Clawson: Royal Oak, Ferndale and Birmingham hog the spotlight while Clawson quietly plays the tortoise with its MAGIC SHOP (emphasis is Thrillist’s) Clawson’s main problem is that it’s close to Troy and “everyone hates Troy.”

Troy: Good schools and 8-bedroom houses for around $100,000. But apparently no one will like you.

Rochester-Rochester Hills: “Incredibly McMansion-y, sort of like if Troy and Auburn Hills had a bastard baby with a kind of cute Downtown that it stole from Birmingham.”

White Lake: The Root Restaurant & Bar saves White Lake from Farmington-Farmington Hills’ fate.

Canton: Home of most of the decent Asian restaurants in the Tri-County area and – bonus – an IKEA store.

Grosse Pointe Woods, Shores, and Farms: Grosse Pointe Parks desperately not to be Detroit, but it’s not Grosse Pointe Farms or Grosse Pointe Woods, either. It’s East Detroit.

St. Clair Shores: All of the trappings of lakeside living without the amenities.

Clinton Township: Populated by nouveau riche residents living in gated communities, and then everyone else, including those on “the anomaly that is Moravian Drive.”

Shelby Township: Roundabouts, gourmet produce markets and brick-and-vinyl middle-class McMansions on what was once farmland.

Utica: Strippers reportedly make good money here.

Birmingham: Has a reputation for being home to the richy-rich.

Bloomfield Hills: Is actually where the richy-rich live.

West Bloomfield: A Bloomfield address at a Novi price, with a plethora of Virgin Mary statuary.

Novi: Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Novi sprang from strip malls and shopping centers. But it’s also home to Asian automotive companies and some decent Asian restaurants.

Dearborn: Where you’re sick and tired of being asked if you know any terrorists. And neighboring Dearborn Heights isn’t fancy.

Plymouth: It’s not Livonia.

Northville: Downtown Northville looks like a scene from a Norman Rockwell painting, giving it “the creepy Stepford vibe.”

Trenton: “Inoffensive suburban-ness.”

Wyandotte: Downriver’s saving grace.

Grosse Ile: A place of quiet sequestration, “Downriver’s answer to Grosse Pointe Farms, Shores and Woods.”

» Get the skinny on what’s right, wrong and interesting – or not – in some of the other ‘burbs.