The Keys to Success in Health and Fitness Week 10: Find a New Love

We've talked a lot in this series about the importance of our habits and about ways to break out of old patterns that are holding us back. But even if you've managed everything successfully so far – you've drawn your road map, assembled your support network, kept a thorough food and exercise journal and all the rest – you may find that you're seeing good results but still feel that something is missing.

“But what could possibly be missing?,” you may be asking. After all, if you're meeting your health and fitness goals – well, isn't that the whole idea?

And yes, you're partly right. Reaching your “destination” is a big part of what this process is all about. However, there's another aspect of this journey that's equally important, and that's what I'm going to talk about today, starting with a question.

Do you feel full or do you feel empty?

What?!?!?  Yes, you read that correctly, but I’m not talking about your stomach. I mean have you been able to achieve the emotional satiation that you (thought) you were when you were taking in too many calories?  In other words, have you started replacing your old, unhealthy habits with new loves?

The thing is, we often overeat to fill the spaces in ourselves that aren't being filled by the activities and things that bring us real joy. If we stop savoring that second (or third or fourth...) cookie without rewarding ourselves with something to fill the space the cookies filled,   I guarantee that life will start feeling flat (at best) pretty quickly.

In fact, this may be one of the biggest non-physiological reasons why so many people who successfully lose weight gain it (and then some) back again. The human mind and heart hates a vacuum – if you take away something you love without replacing it with a new love, you're setting yourself up for failure.

To use a practical example from my own life, I know that going to the grocery store is a challenge for me. Millions of dollars and tens of thousands of hours have been spent by retail marketing experts to insure that I buy more groceries than I need – and more, to insure that I buy lots of yummy goodies. That marketing expertise is demonstrated in the layout of the store, the colors of the ads in the store, and everything else from the end caps to the increasingly-fancy chocolates and other candies on sale at the checkout counter.

If I'm not very mindful as I shop I always find myself being herded right where those marketers want me – in front of the cookies, for example, or the aisles where the food is more highly processed (and probably more profitable).

On the other hand, grocery shopping itself is a chore, and doing it mindfully is a lot of work. So rather than “treat” myself with the package of cookies or processed foods that the marketers have set me up to buy, I make sure to reward myself throughout the week with things and activities that I truly love – both before and after shopping day. This way, the cookies and other processed foods stay on their shelves, I stay true to my health and fitness journey, and I'm much happier than I ever was with those cookies.

Finding your new loves doesn't have to be expensive or even all that time-consuming. If you love to read, all you need is a library card – and if you want to write for pleasure, that can be as simple as picking up a pen and a notepad. There are lots of lilacs blooming as I write this, and it costs nothing to take a walk.

Of course, your new love(s) might be something in which you'll want to invest time and money – and that's perfectly fine as well. As your health and fitness improves you'll have more energy, which can be even better than adding hours to your day in terms of being able to do the things you want to do.

As for the money… just use what you're saving by not buying all those cookies.