The Keys to Success in Health and Fitness Week 5: Look Who's Talking

-Brigid Lossing

“No one will want to be your friend if you’re fat.”  

That was the warning I received at a very young age and it resounded in my brain – daily – throughout my life. In fact, this was just the cornerstone of what turned out to be years of negative self-talk. My guess is that you also have a go-to negative message. A message that plays over and over in your mind; repeating each time you struggle and stumble. Your rational side knows it’s not true, but your fragile, vulnerable side is crushed by it nonetheless.

A few weeks ago we talked about how our family and friends may feel uncomfortable with the changes we're making and the greater levels of health and fitness we're achieving, and the things they might do that could hold us back. Today it's time to talk about the things we say to ourselves that do the same thing.

Do you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about your ability to succeed, or even about your worth as a person? Many of us do, whether or not we're struggling with health and fitness issues. Let’s take a moment to think about how those negative thoughts are influencing your behavior.

If you keep telling yourself you'll never run a mile what are the chances you'll even try, or that you'll stick with your exercise program until you get there?

If you spend your energy getting down on yourself because you ate that extra helping of ham, cheesy potatoes or chocolate bunny, how much energy will you have left to put in some extra exercise to balance out that meal?

If you convince yourself that the things you do are “dumb,” how likely are you to see yourself as a capable person who can reach your goals?

During this series we've also talked about the influence that habits have on our behavior. The fact is that many of us have developed habitual ways of thinking that are also holding us back. The good news is that we can re-program ourselves to think more positive thoughts, just like we can re-program ourselves to exchange healthy habits for unhealthy ones.

Here is the five-step process I continue to use today to change my negative ways of thinking:

1. Identify/arrest the negative thought. Any time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought about yourself, STOP. This is going to take some work, because it means becoming conscious about all of the “background noise” of your thoughts as well as the times you're already aware that you're thinking negatively.
   
   
2. Once you've identified/arrested the negative thought, replace it with a positive one. “I will be able to run that mile/improve my endurance/fit into a smaller size.” “I enjoyed that meal and later today I'm going use the fuel to exercise for an hour.” “I'm allowed to make mistakes.” Follow up every positive thought with the additional thought that, “I'm moving forward.”
   
   
3. Keep a journal or do whatever you need to do to become aware of the situations that trigger your negative thoughts about yourself, and come up with a plan to either avoid those triggers or to actively manage your response to them.
   
   
4. Actively develop the habit of mentally rewarding yourself. I congratulate myself every time I walk in the door for a cycling class, every time I improve my performance (even by a little bit) – any time I do anything, no matter how small it may seem, to improve my health and fitness. Then I use the positive boost I get from those positive thoughts to help me continue to make healthy decisions throughout the rest of the day.
   
   
5. Be gentle with yourself! You've developed these habits of thinking over years, maybe even decades, so it's going to take time to re-program them. In other words, don't criticize yourself for your negative thoughts – doing so saps the energy you could be using to change them.

I understand how challenging the process of changing your thoughts can sound. I've faced this challenge myself – and even today I have to maintain discipline with my thinking to make sure I don't backslide. But I can also tell you that the benefits of re-programming your thoughts go way beyond greater health and fitness. I'm not just a much healthier person today than I've ever been – I'm also far happier, more self-confident, and more successful in meeting my goals (all of them) than I'd ever thought possible. Believe me, it's worth it!