Politics & Government

Cussing, Jeering at Duel, Botching National Anthem Soon to Be Legal

Michigan lawmakers are cleaning up archaic and redundant state laws, joining a national trend for criminal justice reform.

Roseanne Barr’s 1990 national anthem performance is still legendary, 25 years later. Under Michigan law, her rendition could have landed her in jail for three months. (Photo via Flickr/Creative Commons)

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Hot diggity damn. It appears Michigan is poised to lose its PG rating.

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Not only may you soon be able to unleash a string of profanities within the earshot of women and children, it’ll be OK for you to verbalize whatever touched you off while tromping without fear of retribution through a cranberry, huckleberry or blackberry bog.

Once there, you’ll be able to shriek, Roseanne Barr-style, the “Star-Spangled Banner” with wild abandon. The worst that may happen is the person knee-deep in the marsh next to you decides to let ‘er rip under that newly unfettered freedom to curse.

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Don’t fret. If any talk of a duel ensues, it will be OK to jeer at the challenger and say flat-out that dueling is stupid without worrying how you’re going to pay the $750 fine.

Laws prohibiting those activities are among about 80 archaic or redundant laws the Michigan House of Representatives voted Wednesday to scrub from the state code.

State Rep. Chris Afendoulis, R-Rockford, who sponsored bills to repeal the antiquated laws, told the Detroit Free Press that one of the weirdest state laws makes it a crime – punishable by three months in the pokey – to sing the national anthem in a nontraditional or disrespectful manner.

Comedian Barr, whose legendary July 25, 1990, performance of the “Star-Spangled Banner” earned a verbal spanking from then-President George H.W. Bush, wasn’t alone in her controversial rendition of the hard-to-sing national anthem, of course.

“Remember when Jose Feliciano sang the national anthem at the World Series?” Afendoulis said of the 1968 performance that caused veterans to throw their shoes at their television sets and, maybe, expose women and children in Michigan to illegal swearing.“That clearly would have been a misdemeanor in Michigan.”

The ban on cussing around women and kids – a misdemeanor punishable by fines of $750 – has been the law in Michigan since 1897.

The law was struck down in a 2002 ruling by the Michigan Court of Appeals in a case the New York Times dubbed “The People v. Potty Mouth.” In it, the court held that Timothy J. Boomer was protected by the First Amendment when he let a string of vulgarities fly after dumping his canoe in an icy river in 1999. Authorities claimed his rant could be heard a quarter of a mile away

More recently, the law was infamously evoked in a May 2015 Brighton case in which a teen was threatened with a $200 fine for dropping an F-bomb near children at a public playground.

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The bill package approved by the House now goes to the Senate for consideration. Afendoulis told the Free Press the effort is part of a trend nationally tor criminal justice reform.

“Are we over-criminalizing behavior?” he said. “People are violating rules when they don’t even know the rule exists.”

Now, go ahead and schedule that walk-a-thon to raise money for your favorite charity. With the law that regards such activities as illegal endurance contests on the chopping block, there’s little chance the state’s going to lock you up for 90 days.

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