'It's Not Really That Bad': What Urban Dictionary Users are Saying About Northfield

Although most of us know Northfield as a friendly, welcoming, close-knit community, some people on the outside—particularly some contributors of a certain satirical website—view it with a bit more snark.

Patch searched the satirical website UrbanDictionary.com to see what others were posting about Northfield.

Urban Dictionary is an online dictionary of slang words and phrases written by the site’s visitors. Its visitors may submit definitions without registering, but they must provide a valid e-mail address to facilitate the submission process.

Although they may seem offensive, satire is used in almost all of the definitions on the site. Nonetheless, some of the posts are actually offensive. (OK, probably the majority of the posts.)

Here are excerpts about Northfield, St. Olaf and Carleton posted on UrbanDictionary.com. We've edited out some profanities and other infelicities, though no effort has been made to correct mispellings or solecisms. 

NORTHFIELD

It's really not that bad. At least that's what the people who live there try to think. What is there to do? Nothing. That's why they have so many drugs. It's full of indie college students and the high schoolers get dumber as they get older. If you're looking for drugs, just ask anyone. They most likely have a hook up. If you HAVE to visit: Hogan Brothers and Blue Monday are a "good" nofo expierience. Jesse James tried to rob this bank and this dude was like "get your guns" and a bunch of people got shot and that was basically it. But thanks jesse, for making it impossible to drive ANYWHERE that one week in september. P.S. Don't mention faribault.

mother: jimmy, have you been doing drugs 
25 year old jimmy: i don't know what drugs are.... 
mother: clean your room. you have nothing better to do.

person from northfield: your town smells like (expletive). 
person from faribault: [Please be quiet, good sir], you're 25 and you live with your mom. 
person from northfield: wanna buy some drugs?

CARLETON

A small liberal arts college in Northfield, Minnesota. Known for its high academic standards, Carleton is ranked as one of the best liberal arts colleges in the nation and hands down the best college in Minnesota. The students are extremely friendly, outgoing, and genuinely nerdy, but by no means are they considered prudes.Student #1: I'm going to Carleton!! Am I awesome, or what?!

Student #2: Nice! Do you know any smart people going to St. Olaf?

Student #1: Nope.

ST. OLAF

A liberal arts college in Northfield, about 50 miles south of the Twin Cities. It's the third best college in MN and in top 50 best liberal arts colleges, famous for outstanding music and math programs

Yo, I'm going to St. Olaf this fall

The Urban Dictionary site also references Northfield in its definition of the mythical "One-Eyed Winking Midget." 

The site satirically claims: "There were numerous reported sightings of the creature at St. Olaf College (Northfield, MN) in the late 1990s and early 2000s and other places since."