Kristi Noem: Scapegoat at Large

Dear Kristi,

Hi. Remember me? I’m the one who specifically warned you — in an editorial posted in “The Richfield Patch” — that your days as Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security were numbered. That is, no kidding, I stated The Donald was going to fire you…and he did, on Thursday, March 5th. My op-ed was posted, however, on Wednesday, February 18th, over two weeks before your official job loss. So I gave you a much needed heads up.

No, I’m not psychic or anything like that. I just have a brain and — unlike you — I’m not afraid to use it. I’m also not trying to deliberately be disrespectful, either.

My interest springs from genuine compassion: I feel sorry for really stupid people like you. Unfortunately, you’re not the only person who has been so enamored by this oddly charismatic leader that your judgement and common sense have gotten replaced by naivete and super-gullibility. Now you’re being held personally accountable for all the things Trump told you to do — and wanted you to do. Not fair. You won’t be the last person to get thrown under the bus by POTUS 47, either.

Since my prediction has been accurate, it might be a good idea for you, Kristi, to start paying attention to my advice.

Gee, I hope you’re not offended that I’m calling you Kristi and not Ms. Noem. You may not like my viewpoint, but my insights do deserve familiarity on a first name basis. ( If you want to call me D.G., that’s all right with me, too.)

At this point, though, the accuracy of that prediction isn’t as important as the recovery plans I’d suggested for you. I didn’t just tell you what was going to happen. I also explained what you should do so you wouldn’t be the only one incriminated for the ICE snafus in Minneapolis. Go back and review what I wrote. All signs are pointing to you, Kristi Noem, as The Scapegoat.

There’s a really good chance now that you, and only you, could be held criminally liable for the murders of Renee Good and Alex Pretti — and not the ICE shooters and not The Donald.

Apparently, you dismissed my sensible concern entirely. You blew it off as anti-Trump gibberish when it was clearly intended as a pro-Kristi lifeline. Your lifeline, Kristi. Now that the Supreme Court has made it easier for a sitting president like Trump to avoid jail time and legal prosecution, you’re going to be targeted. You’re going to be blamed for those two killings in Minnesota, as well as the total disregard of Constitutional protections afforded to people in this nation. It seems you’ve forgotten about the “innocent until proven guilty” status both citizens and non-citizens alike have in America.

Your words and deeds have always made it clear you were never the sharpest tool in the shed. And yet, surely you must have known about the existence of some laws in this country. How could you not know that what Boss Trump told you to do was inhumane, illegal, and un-American?

More importantly, why did you think it was okay for you to become the cover-girl-on-a-horse in those crazy expensive TV spots? You’ve clearly shown that you lack both the foresight and creativity to come up with such a PR campaign by yourself. Your only talent lies in doing what The Man tells you to do.

So look, I don’t believe that The Donald was completely ignorant of these PR plans to produce, then air, those pseudo “public service ads.” Because money was involved he knew all about it. He not only knew all about it, it probably was HIS idea all along. He probably was aware of the hefty price tag, too.
But now, because the cost has been denounced as gratuitous overspending, he doesn’t want to assume any responsibility for it. He doesn’t want anyone to know it was HIS idea. He wants everyone to believe he had nothing to do with it — AND IT WAS YOUR IDEA!

Please do yourself a favor and wise up — NOW. Don’t wait any longer. Wake up and smell the coffee, Buttercup. You’ve been played. Now you’re going to get hammered and from all sides, girl. Now you’re going to get blamed for all kinds of bad ideas conceived by that snake oil salesman in The White House.

If you don’t stand up soon and defend yourself, you’re going to be forever marked. For the rest of your life, you won’t just carry the scars of a very messy, very public firing. You’ll always be remembered for being criminally liable for creating a toxic work environment, for not providing adequate training for armed ICE agents, and for encouraging your employees in DHS to go along with Trump’s illegal orders.

Oh, and about that relationship between you and Corey Lewandowski…if it is true that you and he DID HAVE a sexual relationship, it was consensual, right? So why should you lose YOUR job when BOTH of you were violating employment laws?

Pardon my banality, but what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Any way you look at it,Trump and Lewandowski are gander specific. Time for some serious feather plucking. Testify before Congress in exchange for immunity — or a reduced sentence.

Get going, Kristi, before the Good and Pretti families start filing lawsuits against you — and before you become another casualty of Trumpworld.

Your friendly neighborhood soothsayer,
D.G.
P.S. And don’t count on getting any Presidential pardon anytime soon.