Health & Fitness
90% Grace
Perhaps you were wondering if Elisabeth came up with a brilliant plan to stop Charlie's tantrums. Perhaps you were wondering if she has any hair left. Perhaps you just like reading about cake.
Upon a lot of reflection over the past week I came to the sorry conclusion that a lot of my four-year-old's tantrums were my fault.
Not that I was poking him with a sharp stick or anything, although I definitely wanted to sometimes. More like I was so fed up with his crazy behavior that I would snap at him the moment he started to stamp his foot or raise his voice to a whine. My rise in temperature (read: hotheadedness) would set off Charlie's, and he would explode from there. So I guess maybe I didn't start this problem but I definitely fed the beast.
One week later and Charlie's temper tantrums are significantly reduced. A combination of extreme patience, bribery, copious amounts of compliments and firm consequences has seemed to make the difference. Also, trying not to act like a four-year-old myself. I brought out the Good Behavior Coins, which make an appearance any time the going gets really rough.
Every time I see Charlie doing something good, no matter how small, he gets a Good Behavior Coin. When he gets ten coins, he gets a reward. In the past, these rewards have usually been a new toy or a book. Sometimes they have been going to fun places like the water park or the zoo.
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Right now, Charlie's reward is that he gets to pick out one of his own toys from storage, where I stuck them after he refused to clean up his room last week (the Tantrum of the Ages that prompted the previous post).
Wait, did I just admit that I confiscated all of Charlie's toys after he refused to pick them up? It's official, I have become my father. Hi, Dad. Thanks for infiltrating my brain.
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Being a good parent is really hard work. It takes a lot of perseverence and a lot of sugar. (Yes, I tossed the last few pieces of red velvet cake when they got old but I immediately set about making a gluten-free chocolate concoction. Maybe when things have really calmed down I will go on a spinach juice diet. Maybe not.)
Parenting is as challenging as it is tedious, as rewarding as it is frustrating. I keep reminding myself that eventually all of these seeds of good character we are planting in our children will come to fruition. When we have a young man who is confident and self-assured, who opens doors for people, who listens without interrupting, who can pray, joke, and handle setbacks with grace. Then my husband and I will look back and know that this was worth every struggle...
