Cheating the heat

I'm sure you're all well aware that a crazy heat wave has engulfed practically the whole country for the last week or so.

As a Minnesotan, I am contractually obligated to talk about the weather as much as possible. As a pregnant woman, I am contractually obligated to complain about the weather as much as possible. In order to fulfill these important obligations, I would like to start by stating the obvious:

Holy freaking cow, it is hot outside!

In case you were wondering what a nearly-six-months-pregnant lady does when it's a 104 degrees outside, let me fill you in:  I don't go outside. Like, at all.

The minute I step from my door to my car I can feel my lungs begin to rebel and my whole body start to sweat. Don't forget, I don't do sweat. This is half of the reason I never took up running (the other half being, I hate to run).

The main problem resulting from this self-imposed house arrest is that I am typically the person in my household who takes care of all matters of lawn and garden care. Currently my lawn is growing five-inch tall clovers, my basil is fried, the geraniums in my window boxes are holding on to their last shred of life and the kiddy pool in the backyard is growing a stunning array of bright green algae.

Am I planning to do something about these unsightly flaws? Um, no.

I will not mow the lawn again until the temperature drops below eighty degrees, which probably means my grass will be four feet tall by the end of August.

I periodically go out at night to water the plants just because I feel sorry for them, but it's not enough to bring them back to glory. And the pool? Well if the kids want to swim they're either going to have to figure out how to clean it themselves or just jump in and pretend it's a pond. I'm sure if we leave the water there long enough it will even start to attract frogs!

By no means do I want to wish summer away, but a little relief from the scorching heat wouldn't hurt.

Meanwhile, I am planning to continue enjoying my air conditioning. I've even managed to clean out two closets and the storage room downstairs while the kids play with Legos and coloring books. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get myself another glass of mint iced tea and wipe the condensation off of the living room windows.

Read more of my blog posts!