Health & Fitness
Crazy Congestion
Lua and Charlie are both scheduled to get surgery next week. How will Elisabeth, being a natural worry wart and general crazypants, deal?
Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I have a lot of neuroses.
For example, I hate whistling. If you're whistling around me for any extended period of time, you might want to duck because I will have a serious urge to punch you in the face.
On the same token, do not repeatedly kick the back of my chair. Just don't. I have a hatred of it that goes back to elementary school. I don’t like sweat, on me or anybody else, and I feel faint at the sight of blood.
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For several years as a child I refused to take an elevator. I don't go on rides that spin, or rides that drop, or really any rides at all. I like eating chicken but if it has any stringy or chewy bits, or if it looks like it was once a live animal, I won't go near it. Are you getting the idea yet? I am clearly a little nuts.
One of my oldest neuroses has to do with anesthesia. When I was about five years old I had my tonsils removed. I have a vivid memory of the nurse giving me this thing that looked and tasted a lot like orange Chapstick. She told me to lick it. I did, and suddenly everything around me started blurring and changing. I was scared, so I turned to look for my mom. When I found her, her head appeared to be growing. Soon it was three times the size of her body. I was crying for my mom but I didn't want her giant head to come near me. Apparently that stuff was supposed to knock me out right away but I was so scared it took a lot longer than it should have. The surgery went fine, but the anesthesia messed with my head. To this day, I cannot stand to hear the song they were playing at the intake desk to the hospital, an eighties song that is sometimes still played in muzak form at the mall.
Yesterday I took the kids to the doctor for what has to be the hundredth time since winter began last year. They have both had non-stop ear infections, eye infections, adenoid infections...basically their entire heads are constantly infected. I feel so bad for them but especially for Lua, who has never been able to breathe out of her nose. When she was a toddler we used to wonder at how loudly she breathed. Every time she stopped talking in her car seat I was sure she'd fallen asleep because of her loud, rhythmic breathing, only to turn around and see her wide awake and breathing like a fifty-year-old over weight man.
