Dear Disney, I quit.

Kids movies are scary. At least my kids think they are.

When we went to Disney World last year, I’m pretty sure my kids were the only ones there who had seen only a small handful of actual Disney movies. Of that handful, they’d hide their eyes or run screaming from the room for half the running time.

Very shortly after trying to introduce Lua and Charlie to some of my favorite childhood movies, I wondered why I was bothering to do so.

In Cinderella, the protagonist is orphaned and then thrown into a life of indentured servitude to her step-family.

In Finding Nemo, Nemo’s mother gets eaten by a shark within the first few minutes of the film, while the rest of the time is spent in a child’s worst nightmare as Nemo is kidnapped and held captive in a Dentist’s office.

In Toy Story, a psychopathic neighbor child torments and mutilates beloved toys and dolls. Lady and the Tramp has a bunch of creepy cats who slink around the new baby threatening to suck the life out of it.

Don’t even get me started on The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, and Sleeping Beauty, all of which are full of evil, violence, and dead parents.

Why do we do this to our children?

Most kids are sensitive to the slightest unfairness. They have trouble in real life processing illness, aging grandparents, dying pets, and bullies.

Why then do we expect them to react with excitement when they see lovable characters in the movies losing family members and friends to vicious predators and bad guys? If they get to the point where these things are no longer upsetting, but thrilling, is that supposed to be a good thing?

There is one Disney movie that my kids and I actually love. It’s on repeat in our house a lot, and we own a ridiculous amount of it’s associated merchandise. That movie is Cars. Cars is sweet, and fun, and exciting. There are no bad guys, no violence, not even a scary scene. Yet somehow it manages to hold my children’s attention.

The main story line of the movie Cars revolves around friendship, and the end of the movie is a pretty touching scene in which the main character learns about the value of sacrifice and love. Cars is a movie that I don’t feel bad showing my kids.

This is why we were so excited in our house for the release of Cars 2. It's also why I was so disappointed when we actually went to see the new movie.

Everything I loved about Cars is turned on it's head in Cars 2. Not only is there the typical Disney bad guy in this movie, but there are machine guns, bombs, and even torture. There are cars that are actually tortured to death using electric shock in Cars 2.

Apparently the people at Disney were trying to appeal to the adults who had to see this movie with their kids by turning into a spy thriller.

Well guess what, Disney? I've already seen that movie. It's called Every James Bond Film Ever Made. The plot is old and tired, and did not interest me in the least. If I'd wanted to see a spy thriller, I would have gone to the newest Matt Damon flick. You didn't need to remake it using my four-year-old son's favorite cartoon characters. Read more...