Update: Auggie climbed out of the crib tonight. Just to set the record straight, he is absolutely fine. I was in the room when it happened and caught him while holding Harry which resulted in what feels like a spinal injury (me) due to their combined 57 lbs.
Auggie had been extremely difficult during bedtime and had elected not to sit with Harry for story time. As a consequence of this PPD (poor personal decision as my friend Melissa terms it) I put him in the crib with his monkeys and books.
Apparently he didn't feel the need to reflect on this behavior, because he then looked at me and swung one leg over the rail. (Just to reassure you again, this is the point at which I caught him - a good five times, in fact because like a masochist I kept putting him back in the crib). If Auggie could speak, I'm sure he would have said "f&*@ you world" while pumping his fist in the air when he made contact with the ground.
Find out what's happening in Southwest Minneapolisfor free with the latest updates from Patch.
If you haven't laughed yet, it's probably because I'm still too close to the situation. No, literally, I'm too close. I'm sitting in the rocker next to his crib right now. I think he's staring at me, but I can't tell because the glow from the computer screen is hurting my eyes. In case you're keeping track, we are now in minute 134 of the bedtime routine. Yup, 2 hours and 14 minutes have passed since the boys started their baths.
Update - I just swiveled the screen toward him to determine whether he's asleep yet, but I'm not taking any chances. He fooled me at minute 119 when I gracefully (not) army crawled out of the room from my position on the floor.
Find out what's happening in Southwest Minneapolisfor free with the latest updates from Patch.
You know, I think I would feel a lot better about this situation if I wasn't also trying to finish remodeling the basement in time for someone's 2nd birthday party on Saturday. I'm just saying. I won't take it a step further and explain that the reason we had to remodel the basement is because we thought the black mold we found was probably really bad for someone's asthma. That would just be mean. Okay, okay. I know that the mold wasn't healthy for any of us and that it's not fair to be mad at a 2 year old. I get it!!!
I also know I am still too close to the situation, close as in sitting at the dining room table outside of his room praying I don't hear a thud. As I'm writing this I am also googling Cars toddler sheets with the thought that maybe seeing Lightning McQueen on a pillow will keep him adhered to his bed when we put on the toddler rail tomorrow.
It's not like I had exciting things planned for this evening. Tonight's basement hell activities were going to include putting tarps on furniture, sweeping the floor, praying to the porcelain god (that's not the euphemism you're thinking of - my version involves scrubbing grout off of vinyl tiles around the circle where the toilet is supposed to go if we're able to tape and seam the joints of the cement board that Derek put up this weekend so we can paint said walls so the plumber can install the toilet. And that's right, I said they were vinyl tiles! Go ahead and judge. I totally would.
Update: I just went outside to check on the dogs because I have a phobia about them escaping the fenced yard. They have been digging a huge new mud pit since I put them out at minute 121. It might end better for them if they left now.
Update: My husband just texted me to tell me he's on his way home from class. This reminded me of how earlier today, I was totally crushing on Handy Manny. I'm thinking that once Derek gets home and sees all of the work we have to do he'll be wishing we were living in a reverse Sister Wives situation where instead Manny and his tools stayed with us permanently. (Let the record state that Manny is a Disney cartoon character not my real life house-calls making handyman, although my friend Lindsey noted that Manny does have a "perfect tan and a hot accent." Very true.)
Update: I should probably go down into the basement and get to work.
Update: I just poured myself a glass of wine.
Update: Would it be so terrible if I just turned the DVR on for a moment to see what happened on RHONJ last night?
