New Year, New Resolutions

Well, the holidays are over.  I’m not going to fully recap what happened at our house because it was surprisingly low-key (and without major illness).  We had friends and family over, and celebrated Harry’s 1st birthday on Christmas day (notice we did not name him Nicholas, Christopher, or Jesus although I swear my mom did say that any of the three would be cute when he turned up at 12:39 am on Christmas morning last year. I’m also sure she would deny that conversation ever happened).

My favorite part of the week was watching my husband persevere in putting together a train table for four hours on Christmas Eve.  I was actually incredibly proud that we were able to participate in that important rite of passage in which parents get tipsy while staying up way too late assembling overpriced toys, and then barely manage to pull themselves out of bed on Christmas morning when their children have the nerve to wake up before noon.  

Anyhow, enough about the past.  Let’s engage in another important cliche - New Year’s resolutions.  Without further ado, here are mine:

1. Harry will walk. This is actually not a resolution, but a decree.  As of today, Harry is 12 months and 10 days old.  Now, I know that children walk at all different ages and I respect that they will do things in their own time.  And Auggie didn’t walk until he was 14 months and 1 week old (the specification is important because that was the weekend I was in the hospital delivering Harry).  HOWEVER, my 375 day old child weighed in at  27 lbs, 13 oz at his doctor’s visit last week.  I feel like an 80 year old woman admitting this, but my sciatica can no longer stand hauling him around.  He needs to pull his own weight around here.   Are you listening, Harrison Kelley Burgess?  WALK, I tell you!  (I would be such a great stage mom on Toddlers & Tiaras.)

2. Start running again.  Once upon a time, I used to run marathons.  Now the running I do is in the form of short bursts, like when I need to get Harry away from the dogs’ water bowl because he’s convinced it’s actually his own personal water table.  The problem I face in accomplishing this goal is one many of us share - WHEN.  As far as I can tell my running options consist of early morning before the boys get up (shoot me), naptime when I’m trying to do my job as housekeeper and chef (my husband just read this sentence over my shoulder and recommended that I point out that we own a treadmill so that no one feels the need to call Child Services because he or she thinks I’ve left the dogs in charge of the kids while I jog around Lake Harriet), or after they go to bed (hello, box wine time?)  And before you ask me whether I’ve actually thought of running outside while they sit in their lovely double Bob stroller I would retort: have you ever tried walking with 62 lbs of child, much less running?  Any recommendations would be appreciated.  But please don’t tell me that I should just get pregnant again so I don’t have to worry about it.  Because I’ve already thought of that.  Kidding.  So not happening.

3. Make my own playdough.  This seems specific, but is actually symbolic of a bigger vision I have.  I resolve to do messy art projects in my house and be one of those moms.  You know who they are.  While I’m writing this, I realize I should probably also resolve to finish Harry’s baby book. Sigh.  The downside of messy art projects is that it really gets my cleaning lady in a tizzy.  The bigger the mess, the more stressed out she gets and the less fun she is to be around.  You recall the fact that the cleaning lady and I are one and the same, right?  What kills me is that Auggie ADORES doing art projects at ECFE class (and if you know me, or have suffered through my blog then you know that I’m not the type to throw around words like “adore”).  In fact, after I dragged out the markers and the cute little drawing tables today that my aunt got them for Christmas, all he could talk about was ART (this is saying a lot since he doesn’t say much at all.)  So basically I’m going to attempt to become a crafty person.  Maybe I need to renew my subscription to Real Simple or O Magazine.  Maybe my next resolution should be to actually read the magazines to which I already subscribe.  Double sigh.

4. Watch less television, especially Bravo.  Who am I kidding and why would I ever contemplate such a thing?  Next!

5. Drink the recommended amount of water.  Okay, now that’s simply ridiculous.  I know it’s important to hydrate, but who really has the time to go to the bathroom as often as one would need after birthing two children if one drank 64 fluid ounces during the day (obviously, post bedtime box wine time does not factor into this discussion).  

6. Go to bed earlier.  I’m fortunate that my children go to bed at a relatively decent hour, yet I simply cannot get myself to bed before 11.  For some reason, I think I’m missing out on life if I go to bed before 9.  Keep in mind that the life I’m talking about includes eating ice cream while watching the Biggest Loser and reading romance novels on my Nook (love the Nook for this very reason that no one knows what I’m reading - I can tell them it’s The New Yorker, while it’s really US Weekly).  

As I finish recording this last resolution, I realize I’m already failing because the clock is telling me that it’s 9pm but Rachel Maddow is reporting on the preliminary Iowa Caucus results and I can’t tear myself away.  Can you tell what my yard sign is going to say?  But that’s a discussion for another time.

Happy New Year and best wishes to everyone!