Asperger's Syndrome Through a Father's Eyes

Both Jeff and his ex-wife, Lori, want to be the best parents they can be for their two children.  Sometimes, that’s easier said than done. From a young age, their 10-year-old daughter, Kiki, would throw major temper tantrums. When she was punished for the outbursts, it only made things worse. Kiki’s method of communication was to scream. She was about five years old when Jeff and Lori realized that something was not right.

The family went to three different doctors over a period of several years before they finally found a doctor who recognized Kiki’s outbursts. The doctor diagnosed her with Asperger’s Syndrome. “We were relieved that we finally knew what was going on,” said Jeff. “We started researching Asperger’s. Medicine helped Kiki to a certain extent, but we quickly realized that we needed training.”

Jeff contacted Life Skills’ TouchPoint Autism Services and was referred to the parent training program, ADAPT. Being in the same room with his ex-wife and current fiancé for eight hours a day for two weeks was not easy, but Jeff would do anything to help his daughter.

“The ADAPT program was a godsend, a miracle,” Jeff said. “Life Skills’ TouchPoint Autism taught us how to understand Kiki and set her up for success.” Jeff, Lori and Jeff’s fiancée, Krista, now know how to communicate with Kiki. For example, going to a birthday party can be a stressful experience, but the ADAPT class taught the family how to properly prepare Kiki for the party. Now, they go over the party’s schedule together and tell Kiki what she can expect to do and who she might see.

“Simple changes have really helped us,” continued Jeff. “TouchPoint taught us to say, ‘Kiki, could you walk?’ instead of ‘Stop running.’ We’re saying the same thing without the negative connotation.”

One challenge is that kids on the autism spectrum can be adverse to change. With Jeff’s anticipated marriage, Kiki will be living with three additional people in her father’s home. “For a long time it was just Kiki, her sister and me—now we’re changing things and that can be hard for Kiki to adjust,” said Jeff. “Krista and Kiki get along great, but it’s still a process. We’re not the Brady Bunch just yet.”

Next year, Kiki will enter middle school in Valley Park. Jeff has already met with Kiki’s future teachers and together they have developed Kiki’s IEP (individualized education program). “Kiki has been given the skills she needs to navigate through middle school, and we as parents have been given the tools we need to help her,” said Jeff.

“TouchPoint Autism and the ADAPT program have been wonderful. Anyone who is committed to the process will see positive results,” continued Jeff. “However, it’s not a magic pill and we’re trying to be as consistent as possible—over time, it’s working out.”