Digital release movie review - Don't Move

Don’t Move **1/2 (out of 5) Fans of the long-running basic cable series, Impractical Jokers, will have an extra interest in this seasonal monster flick. It’s the first feature film from James “Murr’’ Murray’s production company, kicking off his expansion from prank comedy antics to an additional career behind the scenes. In this case, he’s a credited co-writer, along with having a brief role at the beginning. Series fans will also be happy to see fellow Joker Brian Quinn, albeit in an even shorter appearance. Despite their solid comedy credentials, this one is a straightforward horror flick with very little to chuckle about. So, if you’re expecting a gruesome comedy like Arachnophobia (one of my genre favorites), adjust your mood for a serious, though relatively restrained, gorefest. Missourians will also be pleased to know this was shot in the rolling, forested hills of the southern part of the state and Kansas City.

It opens with Lyndsy Fonseca as the mom in a blissful little family, as she, her hubby and son are joyfully romping through the attractions of a big amusement park… until tragedy strikes, leaving her alone in the world. Cut to one year later. She’s still mourning her losses while blankly going through the motions of working and living. Her eager-beaver pastor (Tom Cavanaugh) urges her to join his church group for a camping trip over a long holiday weekend. Despite lingering reluctance to socialize again, she agrees and packs up the essentials. Good thing for the movie, since it wouldn’t have been nearly as good without her.

We also get sufficient character-establishing moments with the rest of the group that’s bussing from Chicago to Missouri’s Mark Twain National Forest. There are the reverend’s daughter and her sketchy boyfriend (Hunter King, Joseph Lee Anderson), and her even sketchier ex (Ricky Vargas). Completing the group are a cute kid with his grandparents, and the bus driver/scout (Rob Riggle). They reach the boonies and set up a campsite. It takes little time for the mayhem to begin. It turns out that a humongous spider calls this remote section of the forest home, and thinks humans can provide a welcome supplement to its normal diet of indigenous fauna.

When the first one disappears, no one believes the account of what happened from the one who saw it. There’s a lot of squabbling among the confused and frightened campers. At times they seem more of a threat to each other than the big bad arachnid poses. About halfway through the movie, we all learn the significance of the title, as they scramble to stay off the beast’s menu. The rest is rather formulaic, with more suspense in how things will unfold, rather than IF. The ending contains a rather clever element.

Fonseca does quite well as the protagonist. Interestingly, Cavanaugh and Riggle – the former known most for upbeat nice-guy roles; the latter for playing loudmouth buffoons, whose verbal output by volume greatly exceeds the merits of the messages - commit full tilt to flourishing annoying extremes of their accustomed personas, making one hope they’ll be among the first casualties when the guano reaches the ventilating device. More screen time is devoted to fleshing out the characters than exposing us to their pursuer. Perhaps that’s due to budget constraints, but it makes the creature scarier to see more of what it does than what it looks like. In terms of gore level, it’s closer to the plethora of creature features that air on the Syfy Channel, which typically suggest more than they show, unlike the splatterfests of the real stomach-turners.

Among the cornucopia of horror fare being released in this month’s run-up to Halloween, Don’t Move is solidly in the middle of the pack for providing a satisfying bit of escapism.

(Don’t Move debuts on Digital formats from Well Go USA on 10/13/26)