Movie Review - Assassins Creed

Assassins Creed ** (out of 5) (PG-13) Admittedly, this review comes from an old dude who doesn’t play video games, including those upon which this action drama was based. The concept evokes other religious cabal lore, like The DaVinci Code’s underpinnings. The rich, influential Templars have been trying to glom onto something called the Apple of Eden, which could give them control over humanity’s free will. They claim it will allow them to end all violence, but it ain’t hard to figure out how those secretive One-percenters would abuse such powers for their own advantage. An even more clandestine order of assassins has been thwarting them since the beginning, with a seminal battle occurring at the start of the Inquisition in 1492 Spain.

The last descendent of the assassins who fought that day (Michael Fassbender) is snatched and subjected to induced regressions to his heroic progenitor from that battle five centuries earlier, at the hands of Templar scientists (Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons). Excruciating for him, but fairly exciting for moviegoers who dig that sort of historical mayhem. The battle scenes are adroitly choreographed - especially in the mixing of current and past “realities”. Or at least I assume it was. Much of that was so dimly lit that the action was often hard to follow. There’s so little room for character development that talented veterans like Cotillard, Irons and Charlotte Rampling seem as underemployed as an MBA holder reduced to asking customers if they want fries with their order.

Devotees of the games might be more satisfied with the film version than this relatively low-tech curmudgeon. If your tastes run closer to theirs, ask a qualified kid for perspective. His/her mileage may vary. (12/23/16)