Movie Review - Baywatch

Baywatch *** (out of 5) (R) I must admit to never watching the original TV series. Even so, I knew quite a bit about it from its rather seminal (pun intended) role in our culture on adolescent males and others. The adventures of these highly attractive lifeguards made global celebs of Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff, followed by years as tabloid fodder from their personal peccadillos, eventually earning their own roasts on Comedy Central. I can’t say how faithful this action comedy is to its progenitor, but if you’re looking for a no-brainer mix of laughs and titillation, this covers the territory in fine summery style.

Eye candy abounds with, depending on your preferences, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Priyanka Chopra and Kelly Rohrbach leading the way in their form-flattering swimwear. The comedy is almost good enough, though a bit wanting for two hours of running time. The script includes self-awareness, playing with the iconic images of slo-mo jogging with jugs a-jiggling that made the series such a phenomenon throughout the 1990s. The Rock delivers an impressive array of disparaging nicknames to deflate the massive ego of Efron’s character. The seven credited writers include a couple of the brains behind Reno 911.

There is a big crime conspiracy to unravel along the way, but it’s nothing to be taken seriously. We’re not exactly in Jason Bourne territory here, folks. Although this production has the advantage of being an R-rated movie for visuals and grossout gags, one can find a funnier Baywatch spoof in Timothy Stack’s TV series, Son of the Beach, that aired from 2000-02 with the decidedly un-buff comedian and his bevy of lesser-known babes protecting the sun worshipers of Malibu Adjacent.

When fluff like this hits the theaters, you know it’s summertime. Leave your brain in the car, and enjoy the popcorn...on the screen. No carbs. Your call on the goodies in the lobby. (5/25/17)