Movie Review - Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom *½ (out of 5) (PG-13) Dinosaurs are extinct, and this franchise has now endured for one movie too long. The excuse for yet another science-gone-wrong opus is that a volcano is about to destroy the dinos still alive on the ill-fated island from the last revival, causing some noble scientists’ desire to move them to another island sanctuary. Other folks have motives worthy of the dumbest candidates for James Bond’s next megalomaniac nemesis, conflicting drastically with the good guys’ plans.

Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt reprise their leads from 2015's Jurassic World, trying to undo the harm from their well-intended bungling. Several other alums return in smaller roles. All were either hungry for a paycheck or more concerned for the computer-generated creatures than for their careers. They couldn’t have read this script before signing on. This turkey ain’t doin’ no favors for nobody, including the likes of Geraldine Chaplin, Toby Jones and Jeff Goldblum, who usually show better judgment when accepting a gig.

Such films require big bucks for the tech stuff - especially with the added cost of 3-D options - which the producers are unlikely to recoup. Even the action scenes that motivate most ticket purchases are shot mostly in dark, rainy exteriors and underlit cavernous interior spaces, greatly diminishing their impact. The PG-13 rating was taken too seriously, ending up closer to PG than R. We see only a little creature blood and hardly any maiming of the humans. This could air on network TV with no edits. Or excitement. Or logic.

Stupid plot. Underwhelming effects. Waste of time. (6/22/18)

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