'What Are You Going To Do?'

"What are you going to do"? 

If I had a dime for every time someone has asked me that question this year, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a job. I'd have enough money to last me until I die. 

Well, maybe not that much, but you get the point. It's the typical question every college senior comes to expect on a regular basis. 

As I was walking to my apartment from classes today I thought back to my first semester of college. Even at a small, Christian university I felt like a minnow in an ocean. 

I pondered which area of study would interest me enough to pursue a degree in that particular field. I wondered which jobs or post-graduate internships or graduate schools I would end up checking out or applying to. 

Although it seemed like these four years would last longer than I would want, the reality that hit me square between the eyes today was a very real one- and one that, in many ways, is coming sooner than I want. 

As I've reflected on my college career- my classes, new lifelong friendships, late night coffee excursions, and extracurricular involvements- I've realized one common thread. 

I've never known what I'm going to do. 

Sure, I've always known I would someday enter the professional workforce, but I've never known exactly how that would play out in beginning the rest of my life.

So why is it such a daunting question now?

Perhaps it's the pressure from friends and family who want me to succeed. Maybe it's all the options from my adviser suggesting places I should apply to work. Or maybe- just maybe- I've lost my focus. 

What if the question all along has really been "What am I doing now"? 

While that might seem obvious and somewhat pointless to ask, I think there is lasting value in asking this question as I look for what lies ahead. 

So, what does the next year, five years, or even ten years look like? 

I think it looks like my interests, my chosen field of study, my experiences, and the person I've become these past four years. 

For me, in many ways, it doesn't look much different than now.