As a psychotherapist and parent, I can genuinely say that we do the best job we are capable of as parents. That being said, at some point in our parenting career we may give our children shame based messages. Why would a parent choose to shame their child? When we have received shame based messages from our parent(s) this is what we know.
Children learn that they are not worthy of love when they are parented with shame. They may feel as though they are, ”bad.” Most parent(s) would like to learn from their parents errors. Therefore, asking ourselves significant questions in order to deal with our shame is important. For instance, when I feel shamed how do I respond? How might I respond differently?
Sharing our story and asking ourselves painful questions is the beginning of dealing with shame.