Community Corner
11 Crazy Things To Blow Up in Your Driveway
You might expect to find fireworks called Da Bomb, Bursting Bouquet and Aerial Dynamite, but Twinkle Toes and Healthcare Reform?
Red, white and blue fireworks tents have been popping up like mushrooms all over Jefferson County, a sure sign that Independence Day is right around the corner. If you like to serve up your holiday BBQ with a side of bottle rockets, then you are no doubt planning a trip to your local fireworks stand.
Patch visited a few fireworks tents along Highway 30 and found an amazing assortment things that go bang in the night. The only thing more astounding than the price (seriously? $100 for a single firework?) was the ridiculous names slapped on some of the biggest, baddest fireworks.
- Healthcare Reform: nothing says “Happy Birthday America” like a 9-shot red and blue repeater decked out with multiple Grim Reapers on the label. Sickle not included.
- Bucket of Fun: Grab the kids, because this assortment of explode-able fun is just for them! The bucket has smaller items that are less likely to take your hand off, like fountains, confetti poppers and snakes.
- Ambushed: a giant multi-shot aerial firework featuring past President Dub-Ya. Possibly made by Halliburton, definitely for those who can’t let go of the past.
- Pyro Gumbo: Does Grandma’s down-home cooking make you see stars? Then this 16-shot repeater is for you. We love the rockets popping out of a Chinese serving bowl.
- Nuclear Warhead: This mega rocket promises all the fun of World War III, without the fallout.
- Highway to Hell: a crowd pleasing fountain that’s “hotter than Hades.”
- Nutty Monkey: What’s more fun than a barrel of monkeys? A screaming monkey fountain, of course!
- Kowabunga: Dude! Channel your inner Bart Simpson with 500 grams of pyrotechnic power in this multi-shot repeater. Anything bigger, and you’ll need a license.
- Hit Me with Your Best Shot: Pat Benatar has nothing on this 22-shot repeater. It strobes, it crackles and it shoots off colorful comets. Pat just sings.
- Twinkle Toes: Fireworks maker Brothers hopes to inspire you to buy this massive 500 gram fountain with … dancing hippos.
- Exploding Bin Laden Noggin: Show that you’re from the Land of the Brave by setting fire to tiny little paper terrorists. This firework novelty is actually a cone that ends with the terrorist’s head exploding. Now that’s fun!
If you’d like to check out an illustrated glossary of fireworks terms before you go shopping, visit the Firework University from Phantom Fireworks.