Solar Energy - The "Look"

I’ve decided that I can afford and want a ten kilowatt Solar Energy generation station.  Remember that ten kilowatts is 10,000 watts.  Ameren Missouri is going to help me with $20,000.00, a $2.00 per watt rebate.  The federal government is going to cut my taxes by $10,000.00, $500.00 per one-half kilowatt.  I can make the payment on a St. Louis County loan for $6,926.00 just by sending the electric bill payment to St. Louis County instead of to Ameren Missouri.  That’s $20,000.00 plus $10,000.00 plus $6,926.00, a total of $36,926.00.  Where are the Yellow Pages?  I need to find an installer.

Then, my wife gives me the “look”.  Every man with a mother, wife, or significant other, knows the “look”.  The “look” usually comes with a simple innocent sounding question.  “Where does the solar energy station go?” she asked.   My face must have twisted into a kind of grin as I answered, “On the roof”.  I must have said it like I thought she should know.  I didn’t mean that, but that was how it must have sounded.  “No, I mean.  Where on the roof does it go?” she asked.  My grin quickly bent into a grimace.  I thought we were on the same page.  Solar energy is clean, green, and probably affordable.  Now, instead, it’s let the games begin. 

I told her that the solar panels should have a southern exposure.  Because we live north of the equator, the panels must face the south.  For the best exposure to the sun our roof should be within twenty-five degrees, east or west, of due south.  I thought that she would be impressed, if for no other reason, because I gave the direction in degrees.  “Is it?” she asked.   A swing and a miss!  Strike one.  Our house is twenty-five degrees east of due south.  All of the panels will mount on the back roof of the house.  No one will even see them.    I figured this for a base hit, maybe a double.  “Do solar panels still work on cloudy days?” she asked.  Foul ball, down the third base line!  “Solar panels work when and wherever there is light.  They work best when they are in direct sunlight.” I countered.  “So, do we have to cut down any trees?” she asked.  Strike two!  That pitch was easily over one hundred miles per hour.  I never saw it coming.  We should probably trim the cherry tree and the Silver Maple has to come down.  “You are not touching the cherry tree!” she declared.  “What about the Maple?” I asked.  Low and outside, Ball one!   “Let me think.” She said.  Ball two, two and two!  Here comes the pitch.  “I hate the propellers.  They stick in the gutters and the kids track them into the house”, she mused.  Ball three, full count.  “Let’s go to the nursery and look at flowering fruit trees”, she said.  Ball four, runner takes a base.  I have a runner on base, but at what cost?  We're looking at the Cleveland Pear.

Did I mention that the wife and I have always worked together?  She is a smart lady.  I should tell you the story about when I wanted to go into business.  I had an idea.  I won’t tell you what the idea was because I still think it’s a good one.  Maybe not but, let me ask you this.  If you could dehydrate water, wouldn’t it come in handy on long trips through the desert?  I think people would buy it.