The Truth About Tryouts and Competitive Sports

Summer vacations are winding down, school will soon be back in session and another season is closely approaching. At the end of this month, we will participate in the tryout or evaluation sessions for our program. The dynamics surrounding tryouts can be emotionally draining for players and perhaps even more so, for parents.

As a former athlete, I understand the stress felt by our student athletes during this very difficult but necessary time. One of the most notable obstacles to this process can be the negative response or behavior by a select group of parents. How can you as a parent support your player through tryouts and the season? How can you best help them to grow and understand what playing a team sport is all about? Youth sports promote equal playing time, as they rightfully should. As a player ascends the ladder of skill and development, equal playing time is not always guaranteed. Skill, strong work ethic and an attitude that reinforces the team environment is what earns the opportunity to compete.

I will do my best to clarify why “not making a team” or accepting a role with less playing time can also be viewed as positive. When a player endures tough times such as these, they may grow stronger in the process.  One of the most talented athletes in the United States is former Chicago Bulls player, Michael Jordan. What some may not know, is that he did not play on the Varsity squad, his freshman year. The truth is, he was cut from the team.

We know Michael Jordan as one of the best basketball players, to play the game. Was this a pivotal moment in his career? The answer is an emphatic “YES.”

Michael has been quoted as saying that he used this disappointment as motivation. This was the fuel that drove him to become a better player. How does this relate to the student athletes within our program?  I believe that parents must remain realistic and objective, when evaluating the athletic skills and talents of their child. Encouraging them to follow a dream and work hard to accomplish that dream is a healthy approach. I strongly support that. When you tell your son or daughter however, that they are one of the best players out on the ice and they shouldn’t have been cut or they deserved better, this is not helping them to handle adversity.

This approach usually makes it more difficult for them to make the necessary improvements.   This is when a gentle yet honest opinion is most helpful. This will better guide them, to find the lesson in such an experience. What could he or she have done better? What do they need to work on?  I have seen numerous times where parents get defensive and blame the coach for overlooking their child. Taking on a “victim” mentality will do nothing to help the player.

I learned from an early age that I would not always be the best out on the ice or the field and my parents didn’t attempt to “sugar-coat” the reality. What I had to learn was if I wanted to be the best or compete at the highest possible level.  I must be willing to apply myself and to work harder.  I had a Jr. B coach cut me when I was 16. To his credit, I was able to talk to him and ask him what I needed to do to improve. I took his advice, worked on what I needed and made the team the following season. It was tough at the time to get cut, but I grew because of that experience. My parents supported me and let me know that if I wanted to make the team that next season, I should listen to the coach’s advice.  What I didn’t hear was, “you’re better than that kid,” or “you should be on the team, that coach is an idiot.”

We will all experience adversity in this world. A parent should encourage their children to set goals and follow their dreams. Through hard work and sacrifice, great success can be achieved. Here are some tangible steps parents can take, to help their child to manage their emotions during evaluations.

1. Ask your son or daughter if they have prepared enough to make the team they want. If the answer is “no”, the player must find time to prepare or be accepting of the team to which they have been assigned.
2. Understand the mission and vision of the team for which they are evaluating. Is it a team that competes on the state or national level, where winning is more important than equal playing time? If so you should know that going into this team, the coaching staff will try to put the best team in the game they can to give them the best shot to win. Playing time will not be equal and if this is very important you may want to look for a recreational team.
3. When you watch tryouts, view it objectively as if you were a coach. Members of the coaching staff are required to evaluate the skill level of all players and not just one.
4. Encourage your player(s) to ask questions of the coaching staff, on the final night of evaluations. The coach may explain the role that your child could play on the team. If they didn’t make the team for which they hoped, perhaps a question could reveal the areas they must strengthen. This could provide the necessary springboard for success in the coming season.
   
    

I understand that most players want to make the elite teams, but we know that not all are chosen for such rosters. This can be very disappointing.  Don’t let this discourage you though. If you like to compete, you may find yourself working harder to make the team the following year. A player may also come to realize that the have another sport or area of your life that suits their strengths and talents better. 

I will close and leave you with this statistic. The chances of becoming a professional athlete is about 24,550 to 1—so you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning, marrying a millionaire or writing a New York Times bestseller. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are 9,380 professional athletes.  We have a .00565 percent chance of attaining the level of skill and proficiency.

Parents and players, as the hard work of our offseason comes to a close and we prepare for our tryout week, remember to work hard and to have fun playing the wonderful game of ice hockey. Get up after you get knocked down and keep coming. Failure and disappointments are all a part of life; so don’t miss the opportunity to learn from them. Never let them dissuade you from your goals.

Seneca, A first century roman Philosopher said, “Luck happens, when preparation meets opportunity.”  Most appropriate for this very topic.

Good Luck with tryouts and the upcoming season.