Breastfeeding in Public

As more and more moms are following the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendations for feeding their babies, there is frequent debate about the proper way to breastfeed in public.

Recently, NASCAR driver Kasey Kahne tweeted his disgust at encountering a breastfeeding mother at a grocery store: “I don't feel like shopping anymore or eating.” The comment reignited the discussion about where and how to appropriately feed a baby.

I have followed the AAP’s recommendations, nursing each of my children for about 15 months. With a fourth baby’s arrival in December, feeding in public is once again on my mind. I have many friends who also breastfeed their babies and have various opinions about how much discretion is necessary.

The practices are different between moms. I have friends who would never dream of covering up to nurse, and at the other end of the spectrum, I have heard tales of women sitting in a bathroom stall to feed their babies in privacy.

Topping even cloth diapers and natural childbirth for bragging rights among moms, breastfeeding is a choice that many mothers take pride in and often feel very strongly about their specific practices. At times, I have even felt judged by other moms for my own decisions regarding breastfeeding.

I believe that moms should nurse in whatever fashion is best for them and their baby, but still take into consideration the feelings of those around them. I personally am most comfortable using a nursing cover and have noticed that my baby is most relaxed in a quiet and serene setting.

I have also found that if I suspect that someone around me is uncomfortable with me nursing, it in turn makes me extremely uneasy and therefore unsuccessful at feeding my baby.

That said, I don’t retreat to a public restroom stall or, on the other hand, feel compelled to educate others about my right to breastfeed in public. I often wonder why there seems to be so much disgust over the way women choose to nurse their babies. I am around other nursing moms on a regular basis, and I never catch sight of any skin.

It seems like what’s really bothering people is not the visibility of an inch of breast here and there. After all, I never see people walk past Victoria’s Secret at the South County Mall with a grimace. Certainly there’s more breast exposure in storefront marketing than in any public breastfeeding session. And I wondered if Kasey Kahne would have tweeted disgust at a men’s magazine cover displayed in a grocery store.

For those not in the thick of early childhood parenting where nursing is as daily as brushing your teeth, the dual meaning of breasts is somehow unsettling. If a breast is utilitarian instead of being displayed for aesthetic reasons, it is offensive. How can that be?

It seems there needs to be some consideration on both sides. Moms who breastfeed are generally not out to expose themselves, and they are making a choice that is often uncomfortable, not to mention at times inconvenient.

I’ve also been on the receiving end of a disapproving look when discreetly nursing in public and wondered if the stranger really doesn’t know that the screaming baby can’t understand, “we’ll be home in an hour and you can eat then.”

Like I said, I’m not on a soapbox for public breastfeeding, but I do wish that people would cut nursing moms some slack. Between feedings every three hours and about three naps a day, it’s a trick to be out in public at all.

Moms need to be considerate when they’re nursing, too. While those of us with infants are up on the latest news about the benefits of breastfeeding, there are generations before us and following us who may be new to the idea.

While I am thankful that I have the right to nurse my baby in public, I balance that with believing that helping other people feel comfortable being around nursing moms will only help them make that decision for their own families in the future.