Moms Talk: Childhood Activities- How Much Is Too Much?

How much is too much? Where do you draw the line when your kids want to do everything under the sun? Do you give input about their activities and choose for them, or do you let them come to you? And how much do you let their friends influence what they get involved in? 

Lisa May
How much this has changed, since I was little. My oldest wants to do everything. We have limited her to one physical activity and one music activity outside of school. With her beginning middle school, she will have options to do more after school, if she wishes. 

I typically try to schedule all the activities one night a week, so we only have one busy night. I also limit due to economics. We can't (and don't need to) afford to send them to every activity under the sun. 

My son will be doing a physical activity, scouts and maybe a music activity this fall. He is more particular and only joins something he has a great interest in. 

As for my little one, her t-ball is winding down this week. She is not interested in trying anything else right now. That is fine with me. I think downtime and family time at home is so important. I want my children to learn balance and that being together is a special memory they will not forget.

We are able to eat dinner together every night as a family at home at the dinner table. This is important to both my husband and I. They grow up too fast. Be sure to schedule your child's activities to what works for you and your family. Having suggestions from friends is fine, so long as it is something that is able to work for your situation. 

Karin Jackson
This question is quite timely, as I am in the midst of making some different decisions about our extracurriculars for the fall! We've always been the 'one activity per kid' plus scouts family. 

Even that gets to be a lot when all four kids have very different interests - from karate to musical theatre to soccer to ballet! In spite of the 'only one' rule, we are almost always headed somewhere- and that is exhausting. 

I don't think any of our activity choices have been made based on what our friends are doing. I think I've been pretty cognizant of what natural talents each of my kids have and I tend to encourage and sign them up according to that bent, which is probably what leads to all of our running. 

I've actually begun to consider putting all the kids into the same activity this fall. They've participated in private swim lessons in our pool this summer and have made stunning progress, but even the idea of 'swim team' comes with huge time commitments (beginning with 3x/week) that I think are just a lot.  

Determining which activities are best for the kids, considering improving their skills through private lessons, and ultimately living out these decisions overwhelms me.  I want my kids to have and enjoy activities beyond school, opportunities to learn and to shine musically or athletically, yet balance those same activities with true family time.  I'm still finding my way. I'd love to hear what other moms have to say about this topic! 

Jennifer AuBuchon
Oh my! A complicated topic for me. My husband would definitely say we "overschedule" at times, but I really try not to. There are just so many great opportunities out there and my kids do like to participate in things, so it is hard to keep that balance, especially as they get older.  

I would say that both my kids have their main "sport" that they devote the most time to. They pretty much have participated seasonally in each CYC sport as well. They both play piano, and my daughter has added guitar. Jake has scouts still which Madison dropped after elementary school. 

We definitely give input on what they do, but we feel strongly that if they commit to a sport or an activity, they need to finish out the commitment, whatever that is, unless there are extenuating circumstances. We kept Jake in soccer longer than he probably wanted for the exercise, but he really wanted to try tae kwon do.  

Once he finished his last season of soccer, we let him start the tae kwon do. I wouldn't say that friends influence what they choose much at all. My kids are both pretty independent that way. If they want to do something, they don't need the approval of their friends to do it. They're also okay making new friends in new activities. I really appreciate that about them!

Bottom line for us is that we want them to try different sports and activities and to be well rounded.  There are so many great things to do in this world, finding something that appeals to your child's interests shouldn't be hard. It may just take some trial and effort! 

Samantha Goswami
My kids are young and suggestions come from me for most activities. We try and stick on one sport a season, swimming year round and one other activity. My 8-year-old this summer is playing baseball and my 6-year-old is continuing with the piano. Both do swimming class.

This fall will probably be an exception where my 8-year-old will play baseball and soccer. I see a lot of parents running from one activity to the next and I wonder where the family time is.

Twenty years from now I would like to think back and remember that we had family time and not all the kids' childhood was spent driving them around from one activity to another. As always once school starts if home work and reading is not complete we do not leave the house to go to any activity! 

Jenny Wescoat
My kids are still kind of young to get too caught up in activities, and I have always disliked being scheduled. We do a few activities, like my daughter does a really low-key dance class at a church (no recital, commitment is only 6 weeks at a time), and my kids do a weekly Bible program at church. My two older kids played t-ball and did swim lessons this summer, but it wasn't too busy. 

Our recent debate about this is that my 6-year-old wants to play football. I'm not crazy about the idea at this age, but we recently went to a rodeo out West, and after watching young kids do that, I realized it could be much worse! Not sure what we will do yet.