Picture It: Procrastinating on Family Portraits

There’s something I have to do that I dread even more than taking my kid to the dentist. Or going to the dentist myself, for that matter. It stresses me out more than taking my kids to get check-ups at the pediatrician, even if shots are involved.

It’s one of those things that everyone insists is fun and exciting, and yet, when I talk to most moms, they hate it as much as I do.

The task is getting my kids’ pictures taken. Every time I go, I tell myself, “This is so silly. We have a digital camera. Why don’t I just hang up a sheet as a background and do this myself?” But then I look at my photo books and notice how we never get a shot with everyone looking at the camera. Or I may notice an all-but-perfect picture where bunny ears are peeking out over someone’s head or a Christmas ornament on the tree behind us looks like it’s sticking out of a kid’s ear.

So I have an appreciation for the results you can get from a professional camera and a professional photographer, compared with just printing something at Costco. But it so often goes badly.

I remember vividly the first time I took my firstborn to get pictures taken at the . He was 3 months old, his dad was out of town, and I was determined to come up with a great surprise for the celebration of the first Father’s Day in our little family.

I look back now and on the surface it seems so easy. I had three fewer kids to get ready and no hair bows to fuss over. I was only navigating one nap schedule. But what aggravated me was that when the picture session was over, I was shown a full portfolio of poses and sheet sizes, all printed up and ready to take home.

I asked the sales associate what happened to the sheets that I opted not to purchase. He shrugged and said, “We just throw them away.”

What?! These were $18 a sheet pictures. I suddenly felt slightly ripped off.

Recently, I took my 5-month-old to a department store to get her pictures taken. She had just sprouted a tiny sliver of tooth and I wanted to make sure I documented that gummy smile before it was just a memory.

We have been to this particular store many times for pictures, so I mostly knew what to expect. But my bones were jarred a bit when upon laying my baby down on the mat for her first pose, she was assaulted with a high-pitched noise that I couldn’t quite place. Bird? Really huge bug? Nope, it was the photographer and he was freaking my baby out.

As my baby started to dart her eyes over at me and look worried, I stopped the photographer with his noise, wondering exactly what age kid he’d seen react in smiles to it, and called in my 5-year-old daughter, who can always get my baby to smile and laugh.

Of course, we were set up for failure that morning, as so often happens when you’re counting on otherwise. A round of loud yelling from my older kids messed up my baby’s nap and my 2-year-old had clocked her in the head with a toy just before we walked out the door. She was fine, but not exactly in a jolly mood.

My biggest point of aggravation always comes when it’s time to choose the poses and sizes of my order. In every store we’ve been to for pictures, the policy is that you sit and wait with your squirmy kids until the shots are ready for viewing. Usually my kids are so sick of being rearranged and prodded for smiles that they are already on the edge of good behavior when the last picture is snapped.

In my experience, the deal is that you pay a steep increase per sheet if you decide to walk out the door and buy later online. So I feel forced to choose between upwards of 20 poses while my tired, crabby kids alternate between tearing the place apart and whining for snacks. I’m in no mood to make a good decision.

I understand that every industry has its specific intricacies that are necessary to run a good business. But I can’t help but wonder why department store photography is not better designed for the segment of customers that must bring in the bulk of their sales.

I can deal with obnoxious noises from the photographer and a lot of other aggravations, like the time the photographer was sweet to my baby but strangely unfriendly to me. But when it comes to choosing pictures, there must be a better way.

If the stores would give a deadline for viewing and choosing pictures online, I would probably spend more money. What happens to me in the store is that I start getting stressed and make sloppy decisions. Later, when my husband sees the printout of what I didn’t choose, we both feel a little bummed.

While we did get some really cute shots of my little baby, I know that in a couple of months I’ll need to get all four of my kids in for their annual pictures together. I already have cute matching dresses for the girls from Easter and I’m getting pretty slick with those hair bows. But if we happen to capture a great candid shot before then, I’ll see you at Costco.