Sending Your Child to Kindergarten: A Test in Courage

I’m not a sappy person. I don’t cry at Folgers commercials, romantic comedies make me roll my eyes, and I’ve often sat perplexed while a friend wept over a beautiful moment, wondering why I’m so cold-hearted. 

This all changed the moment my first baby was born. I remember one early day of motherhood, when an episode of Oprah brought me to tears.

“What is wrong with me?” I wondered. I was only watching the show because there was nothing else on television. I wrote it off to post-partum hormones. I had no idea that this was my new normal.

As a result of my new weepy existence, sending my daughter off for her first day of kindergarten was an emotional event I dreaded for months. When the day was just a couple of weeks away, I started to get a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach each time I remembered that she’d soon be at Bierbaum with my son.

The day of kindergarten orientation, my daughter and I met her new teacher and she settled in right away to hear a story with the other children. When the principal came to the door and said it was time for the kids to have a trial ride on the school bus, though, she panicked.

She clamped her arms around my neck, her legs around my waist and burst into tears. I realized that she hadn’t known that the bus ride was just for kids before that moment. I squeezed her tight for just a second and then, realizing there wasn’t much time for hesitation, said, “Do you think you could be very brave and go on that bus ride?” My daughter immediately sat up in my arms, gave me a determined little look and then ran to join the line at the door.

I couldn’t help but tear up just a bit at seeing her little display of courage. She’s much tougher than I was at her age.

This theme repeated on the first day of school. We resisted the urge to walk her all the way to her classroom and instead let her out in the drop-off line just like we would every other day of the year. She looked so small walking up the sidewalk with her older brother, but she didn’t look back or seem a bit intimidated.

When we picked her up, she told us that she found her classroom without any help from her brother or her teacher. In addition, she met four new friends at recess and had a great day.

I’m a sappy mom now. I hate it when the first day of kindergarten arrives. I hate it that my second-grader has left too, and my house feels very quiet with only the 2-year-old and the 8-month-old around to make a racket.

From what I can tell, this is the only downside of loving what I do. The house is a little quieter during the day, but orientation and the first day of school showed me that my daughter is tough enough to brave a world that’s a little bit bigger than the confines of our little home. I hope I can be just as brave.