Picky Eaters? Teach Them to Cook

I tell the 2-year-old to announce that dinner’s ready, and everyone bustles in. With anticipation of tasting my yummy dinner, I settle into my spot, right next to my husband. Then I hear a noise that bursts my Betty Crocker bubble: “Ewwww!”

Despite multiple corrections and consequences for rude behavior at the table, my kids can still astonish me with their lack of consideration. We practice how to politely decline food when we are guests, but sometimes they forget themselves at our table.

Recently I read The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel. Mogel’s book offers parenting advice, all based on the wisdom contained in Jewish theology. I read her book with hungry eyes, and was soon rewarded with seeing myself in several of her cautionary tales.

However, it was her discussion of food preparation as a family that encouraged the birth of a new tradition in our kitchen. She talked about kids who had no appreciation for the work that went into making their food. When she described snotty kids who turned up their noses at lovingly prepared food, I renamed the children with Wescoat characters who often showed up in my kitchen.

Then Mogel described the Jewish practice of preparing for Shabbat together. In this tradition, the whole family participates in preparing the Sabbath meal. While having fun together as a family, children also learn appreciation for the work that goes into the preparation.

Mogel recommends that even non-Jewish parents find a way to allow their children to take part in food preparation to learn the work and care that goes into making a meal. After all, how could a child appreciate what they have never experienced?

Tired of trying to treat the symptoms and ignoring the underlying problem, I decided to implement this practice. I realized that I used to include my older children in meal preparation when our family was smaller, but as babies number three and four arrived, I was more likely to close the kitchen door and just try to get it done, fast.

Is it any wonder that my kids could so callously plop down at the table to food that seemed to magically appear from nowhere and pronounce, “Yuck!” before tasting dinner?

I told my older two kids that for the summer, we were going to alternate each of them having a turn to cook on Wednesday nights. They could choose the menu, shop for the ingredients and cook it with my help. 

I decided to try to make it as much the kids’ own project as possible. So when my son chose toasted ravioli and carrots as his first dinner, I only added one more vegetable to the menu.

On Wednesday, either the baby or the 2-year-old were napping until 5 p.m. When we finally made it to the store and found they didn’t carry toasted ravioli, it felt like things were unraveling. We usually eat between 5:30 and 6 p.m.

My son quickly and conveniently volunteered to make his favorite food, pizza, and I readily agreed because it was getting so late. There was no way we could run to another store so we grabbed frozen pizza and ingredients for salad. We decided to include a fun dessert, too, and bought items to make s’mores under the broiler.

The meal turned out great. My son read the instructions to make the pizza, made the salad completely on his own and set the table. It occurred to me later that it was pretty nice to start with something so simple that he could feel successful.

The next week it was my 5-year-old daughter’s turn and she immediately challenged any perception I had of myself as open-minded. She wanted to make my least-favorite meal that my kids and husband all beg me to make: tuna casserole.

I don’t just dislike tuna casserole because of the taste or the nutritional aspects of the dish. Early in our marriage I made it at my husband’s request and when he had to work late, I was left to eat without him. I don’t want to disclose all the gory details. Let’s just say that large quantities of animal fur were involved and it was years before my husband could talk me into making it again.

Remembering the behaviors and values that I was trying to teach my kids, I agreed that tuna casserole was on the menu. I shopped ahead of time for the ingredients and my daughter had a lot of fun mixing up the casserole. We served it with her very favorite vegetable, green beans, and then topped off the meal with sliced apples. I had a great opportunity to exhibit gracious behavior at the table, though with every bite I was sure I could detect a little fur.

We are continuing our experiment with having the kids cook dinner this summer. I’ve decided to let go of the shopping aspect until my younger kids are a little older, and focus instead on letting them choose the menu and help cook the meal.

It will likely be many years before we will know whether the advice from Mogel’s book influenced my kids’ ability to respond well when served food they don’t like. But there are so many benefits to my kids with opportunities to learn about nutrition, measuring and completing a task that it’s a great plan for us.

I have the feeling that our Wednesday meals this summer might consist of a lot of corn dogs and macaroni and cheese if I let my kids have complete reign over the dinner menu. However, if I can clear the major hurdle of protesting what they choose to put on the table, they may learn to do the same for me.