Back to School: Dealing With the First-Day Jitters

When my oldest, E, was getting ready for his first day of school, I marveled at how this little boy could be ready for kindergarten.

How could I send him marching off into the world when he still needed me to cut the crusts off his sandwiches? His tennis shoes were slip-ons, he couldn’t tie yet, and the hands that zipped up a backpack that was 3 sizes too big for him, were still clinging to the last traces of baby chub.

He held my hand at the bus stop until the last possible second, but when the bus doors hissed open, he was ready.

I was not.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I waved until the yellow bus disappeared around the corner. Luckily, I had little C still at home. That helped keep me preoccupied, but my stomach was still a ball of knots until I saw E running from the bus with a huge smile plastered across his face.

I thought it would be easier with C. I’d done this before, after all. But it was worse. C is the youngest and has always been at once a cuddler and fiercely independent. He spent two years watching his older brother go off to school and when his time came, he was more than ready. There was no holding hands or tearful goodbyes. C ran onto the bus and never looked back.

Having your kids out of reach and in someone else’s care can be nerve racking. Elementary school is new and different and that can be scary. Some of the tips I’m about to share worked for us and helped relieve some of the anxiety for everyone.

Playdates. Be diligent about setting up playdates with other children. You can also take your kids to a playground or sign them up for a peewee sports team in your area. This will help them feel comfortable playing in groups. Try to schedule time for your child away from you. This is especially important if your child has never been to preschool or daycare and has spent most of their time with you. Hopefully you won’t spend the first 15 minutes of kindergarten unwinding your child from your leg.

Establish a routine a week or two before school starts. Decide when you’ll be putting them to bed and getting them up in the morning and get the routine into place. This will be one less thing they will need to adjust to.

Read books about starting school. One of my all time favorites that I read to both of my boys was “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn. It tells the story of a little raccoon who is nervous to leave his mom on his first day of school. Another book that we enjoy is “Mrs. Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten” by Joseph Slate. The book rhymes and incorporates the alphabet into a story involving scenes that are easily relatable for young kids.

Use orientation to make friends. Kindergarten orientation is the perfect opportunity to make new friends. Help your child explore the classroom and meet the teacher. Introduce them to some of the other children in their class so they will go to school knowing at least one other child. Introduce yourself to another parent. You’re not the only one who has anxiety over sending their little one off to school and talking with someone who is feeling the same way, or has been through it before, can help.

Send a small token from home. If your child still seems really nervous, allow them to take something small with them that will remind them of home. I made a small photo album for C with pictures of our family in it. If he began to feel a little homesick, he could pull it out of his backpack and look at his pictures. He knew we were always with him. I’m a big fan of notes tucked into lunchboxes, too. Short and sweet “I love you”s or “You make me so proud”.

Never let them see you cry. Put on a happy face. Radiate positivity and excitement. You want them to believe that going to school is a cause for celebration. If you’re crying, they will think there is a reason to be upset. Suck it up, and cry after they leave.

As a parent you will never stop worrying. The only fool proof remedy for first day jitters arrives at the end of the school day when your child runs into your arms, smiling, and bursting at the seams to tell you about their first day.