Stepfamilies

With the divorce rate at an all-time high, I believe that more needs to be to address the blended family.

Stepfamilies are being created at a phenomenal rate, and the rules were never drawn regarding the appropriate way to handle the children. Men and women are finding themselves in a parenting role to children of marriages gone bad, and aren't clear on their role. Many of the stepparents are over-compensating, even going so far as to have their stepchildren call them Mom or Dad.  This causes a great deal of confusion in the child's mind, and although they may not verbally express it, the effect can be deep and long-lasting. This holds especially true if the non-custodial parent is trying to be a part of their child's life, and is constantly being placed a "less-than-equal" role.

An important step is to keep the parent's and stepparent's roles clear. There is only one "Mom" and one "Dad", and a child should never be encouraged to refer to a stepparent by those titles. Even more important, the child should be encouraged to refer to their natural parents as none other than "Mom" or "Dad". Calling parents by their first names, or any other names, will only cause a great deal of grief for everyone later. A stepparents role is to support their spouse, but never to attempt to supercede the role of the natural parent. 

I would strongly encourage stepfamilies to seek the assistance and advice of a licensed and experienced psychologist. The decisions that you are and will make in the interest of your child/children are very important, and professional guildance would definitely put the stepfamily in a clearer light. Grandparents would gain a lot by following a similar strategy. 

Our children are our future, so let's keep their minds clear and teach them how to PROPERLY deal with situations that will affect them now and throughout their lives.