Preschoolers Learning Self-Control

Learning self-control is another area of development, just as physical or cognitive development. Educators refer to it as social-emotional learning.  Preschoolers use language and have mental impages that help them with impulse control, anticipate when their needs will be met, change their goals and solve problems.  All of these skills and knowledge combine to help preschoolers control their actions.

Playing with peers and siblings will be times your preschooler is learning this 'give and take' ie. playing with toys, turn taking, and appropriate responses when things do not go 'her way'.  It is a developmental process and takes time and many experiences.

Once in awhile you may see her regress in self-control.  Perhaps there is a new baby in the family, and your preschooler wants more and more of your attention.  When she has to wait, she may resort to inappropriate behavior, which will probably get your immediate full attention.  Your understanding of the reason for her undesired behavior will help you deal with her.  I doubt she will be able to explain it, but she will just know she is unhappy.

As your preschooler becomes older and more experienced, you will see her confidence, self esteem, and self-control all come together in the form of sharing with others, being patient, and having empathy.  It takes times and it is a process!