Quitting the Team

My 12-year-old daughter is a basketball player and a softball player. Or, rather, she always has been. As we drift further into her tween years and approach the teens, she has decided she’s no longer an athlete. I beg to differ.

Last Saturday, she had a basketball game. Her team is pretty good, but she’s not even close to being the star of her team. Truth be told, none of these girls are standout athletes, so it always surprises me that they continually win game after game.

This particular game was no exception. The team she played also had no standouts, with the exception of a girl who appeared to be the size of any NBA player. To my 5-foot frame, almost anyone seems tall, but this sixth-grade girl was exceptionally tall.

My daughter, who has been blessed with my height and stands about 4’11” on her best day, was picked to guard this giant for the entire game as our team had no subs.

The game started out slowly, and her team had a mere 7-5 lead at half time. The girls were shooting at every chance, but nothing was going in, not even for the giant girl my daughter was defending. As the second half wound down, the score was tied at nine. Again, the ball was flying toward the basket, but the net and the ball just weren’t connecting.

And then, finally, that climactic moment came—my daughter received a pass and went up for a shot just inside the three point line. I was on the edge of my seat, literally, as I watched that ball swish though the net! Not only did she make the game-winning shot, but she did it with less than a minute to go. It was the most exciting game I’ve been to this year! I did my best not to be too embarrassing, but you can bet I threw my hands up and cheered for her. Thankfully, so did the rest of the crowd, so my cheers weren’t singled out.

She rode this high for about 18 hours, and then reminded me that this will be her last season because she’s “not an athlete anymore.”

Since the age of 4, my daughter has been involved in sports. Her deciding to leave the world of sports behind is more devastating to me than her, I think.

I am trying to loosen the reins on this one, but I am going to require that she be involved in something. I’m definitely not OK with her doing nothing. And her dad will fight her tooth and nail over this one, I’m sure.

Parents, do you think it’s OK for your children to make their own decisions about the extracurricular activities they are involved in? At what age should parents begin letting children make these kinds of choices?

Less than 24 hours after declaring her retirement from junior athletics she called from a friend’s house that rides her bus, to tell me that she was “going to shoot hoops.”

I guess she might have a little game left after all.